Chemo brain

Juju at a quick update on my brain fog.  With all the rules and regulations regarding the job keeper and job seeker stuff overloading my poor memory I spoke to my Boss Re job keeper  and thankfully she is going to do the applications.  It’s a veritable mine field. I’d rather stick to what I know. I’m thankful I have a job to do. For the time being. 
We had a great discussion regarding memory issues and getting back to where I was up to. I have been provided with a stack of post it notes I’m having to do all the crazy stuff with detailed  notes. And lots of ticks and crosses on my files. its working so far 

KayB55 - I read a research article in the field of psycho-immunology - the very fact of diagnosis can have an impact on physical, emotional well being and cognitive functioning, eg, fatigue, confusion, poor short term memory etc. As you have held the position of HOD I can appreciate your capacity to think and act quickly, make decisions on the run, put out 'bush fires', encompass differing needs, wants, demands, and opinions in your every day decision making etc etc and all the while making sure the curriculum is covered as indicated by student learning outcomes. Whew! I feel exhausted just thinking about what a 'normal' day must have been like for you.Yes, the young and ambitious substitute could be a source of irritation and possibly stress, however, if you hold a permanent position she can think, look, feel etc however and whenever she wants, it doesn't have to touch you. Your micro planning is a great strategy - it will help your brain to 'join the dots' so to speak. By doing this you literally 'map' the day into your brain and being well prepared can boost your confidence. I agree, don't tell your colleagues, you risk the 'poor you ....' comments and glances - not to overlook their genuine care and concern, but keep it out of the work place. Its great that you do have a small group that you can be 'real' with. If possible go slowly when term begins and also, if its possible lie down for about 15mins during lunch break or put your feet up and yes, I know there are some teachers who would laugh at the very thought of finding 15mins during a normal teaching day. If you forget something the world and your world, will not collapse, in the final analysis ask yourself, 'What is the worst consequence if I forget .......?' When doing your lists and notes perhaps include a PRIORITY list for each day and tick off each thing as its done - yes ;) I know that you will need to remember you have a list, but there will be good days and very good days. Most importantly be kind to yourself! XXXXX

Thank goodness for this forum.  I am sitting here struggling to get through my preparation work for next week's lessons. Of course it is all more complicated because I need to repurpose my normal lesson material into online lessons.  I am just about to jump up and down (if I could actually do that at this point in time) because I am just so slow and I think I have done something and I have not.  I am making copious notes on my preparation sheets and ticking things off just to try and reduce my stress. Now that I have read the above posts I realise that it is still chemo brain (five months after finishing) plus tamoxifen brain (just started last Thursday) combined. It makes me feel a lot better but my colleagues just don't understand and I don't really want to tell them, I am over them looking at me sadly....poor Kay - just not the person she was - no I am better than before with greater depth and certainly better understanding.  I am missing a breast not missing a brain! Thank goodness the deputy principal has had breast cancer and a little group of us BCs laugh at these strange happenings but gosh they can cause emotional distress. I was Head of Department but someone else is doing that job til I am back full time next term. She is young, ambitious and looking at me as if I am from another planet.  I just need to keep on adapting and finding strategies that help keep me productive without the stress of worrying that I have forgotten something..... 

Chemo brain is very real.  I didn't work during chemo but went back shortly after and I struggled.  Nearly 2 years later it's better, but not gone - whether that's because it's improved or I have gotten better at managing it, I'm not sure but there's still major holes in my memory and if people keep interrupting me, I have no idea what I am doing.  What you're describing is really hard as being constantly distracted means you can neither write things done nor be mindful about what you are doing.  I don't know what your job is, but is there any way you can hold calls until you have finished something?  If not, rather than answer on the second ring, maybe you could leave it long enough to write a "placeholder" post it for your file - some word or two that will take you back to the point (or maybe pre-write some code words to grab if that's suitable).  I don't know what may work for you but it's worth exploring different options.  (BTW - my kids still laugh at me)

I just read the link from  missy68 
a lot of good suggestions in there. My biggest problem being that i work in an office mostly on my own so i am answering the phone seeing clients and trying to finish jobs that couldn’t be finished at appointments. What I’m  finding most frustrating is i get started on a file. The phone rings i deal with that. The when I go back to the job at hand. I have to go back to the beginning because i just cant remember where i got up to. 
i just took 10 days holidays to get through all the medical appointments and try get other things done and still got phone calls or texts most days 
I’m wondering how much longer i will have a job. With the silly mistakes I’ve been making 
i don’t get offered any extra shifts anymore 

@Karenp23 I can relate. Some days mostly ok, others 👎🏼
Seriously thinking of wearing a notepad around my neck to write down thoughts as soon as they come to me. Retention rate is zero at the mo.  :(
You are a heroine to be at work! 🦸🏻‍♀️ 

Hi @Karenp23

Oh yes, I remember that well.  Between the chemo brain hangover and the Tamoxifen fog when I started it, I honestly thought I would have to quit my job.  I was double handling and checking everything because I couldn't remember if I done it. Even if it was only a minute before. I would drive home from work in tears on most days.

I ended up just telling everybody that if I did something stupid or just stared blankly at them because the words wouldn't work, to please forgive me. I had to train for a new computer system and honestly my brain just would not learn anything, I'd be just sitting there staring at the screen stupidly with nothing making sense.  Gives me the heebees just thinking about it.

Make sure your boss and collegues know what's happening and why. I ended up writing everything down straight away.....everything.  I had post it notes all over my computer and desk.  I had to, I would take a phone call and walk to the other office to give a message and undoubtedly would have forgotten by the time I got there. Someone would tell me their name on the phone and I would forget as soon as they'd said it. No matter how hard I tried that brain just would not think straight.

Bloody awful.  I feel for you lovely.
Notepads and alarms on your phone will save you until you get through it.  I would have 20 alarms set on my phone right down to making sure I fed the dogs and didn't forget my kids birthdays.

Best wishes sweet.  
xoxoxoxoxo

I can totally relate to how you feel. I recently asked my coworker to read this link. It really did make a difference ss she had no idea of the impact chemo can have on your brain x https://www.cancerandcareers.org/en/at-work/where-to-start/managing-treatment-side-effects/working-with-chemo-brain

Hi @Karenp23 Ah, chemo brain. I gave up trying and just went with the flow. Pointed when I could and shrugged when I couldn’t. My family thought I was hilarious so I just laughed with them. No use me getting upset with them about it. Hard when at work but maybe trying to explain to your boss, or giving them the chemo brain brochure might help. Sixteen months after chemo and I still sometimes go gaga