Stage 4 breast cancer

Hi Cranky Granny,

Thank you for your reply.  My problem is at night when I start googling.... I know I shouldn't but I guess I'm looking for hopeful new therapies or ground breaking studies or something.  Sometimes I'm optimistic when I read about people lasting 10 years + but I know that it's unusual.  Other times I read that because it's in my lungs I'd be lucky to live for 2 or 3 years. I know I should stop reading dr google but I'm trying to get a handle on what to expect and because the oncologist says I have a 50-50 chance of making it to 5 years it's so vague.  They don't really give me a lot of information and I think it's because they don't know.  During the day I live my life normally, the meds are tolerable so far but I'm swinging from hope to despair.  How do you stay level headed and hopeful?  Is it because my diagnosis is only a few months old and most people get on with their lives and learn to live with not knowing?  

I do see a psychologist who's great but it's at night that the fear starts and I can't seem to stop once it's starts.  I would appreciate any advice from anyone who has been through this particular struggle, I'm sure everyone does go through it.  

Thanks for reading this.  I can't talk to anyone because during the day I'm ok, it's just at night.

Love Gerry x