Forum Discussion
Here Goes
Hello. My name is Jenny and I live on the NSW/Vic Border. I have gone to post in here a couple of times but backed out. Denial maybe?
On Wednesday I was officially given the diagnosis of BC. I have had a large lump for around a year but I have 26JJ sized breasts and the lump is down along where the bra wire sits. I put it down to thickening because of the bra wire. I recently started Lite N Easy and after loosing around 10kg I noticed that the lump was much larger than I thought. It has its own postcode ;p Its 5cm x 3cm x 2cm.
So I did the mammo and ultrasound and knew when I called for results, that the urgency by my GP to get me in to see her, that something was very wrong. That day I had bloods, CT scan and was booked in for biopsy. All along I was doing as much research as possible. Armed with knowledge I have always found it easier to deal with things. Must be part of the anxiety I have day in and out.
I met my surgeon on Wednesday who gave me the diagnosis. I was alone at the appointment and was in shock, none the less. I guess I was hoping it was just a mass that they just wanted to remove for safety sake. I do remember asking him what type of Cancer and I vaguely remember him saying Metastatic and that its very common. I am booked in for a lumpectomy and node removal on the 22nd. (Tuesday Week). I am then too do 5 weeks radiation.
I've got all of that in my head and ready to deal with. But now I am reading all of the paraphernalia and Metastatic means I have it in other places in my body? Do they know where? Does this mean I will probably have to do chemo after radiation?
I know I am overthinking all of this and should take it one day at a time. I work 3 days a week and also on partial DSP. Being at work keeps my mind off things. I am planning on taking vacation leave for the rest of the week after my lumpectomy. I am so grateful that my oldest of 2 (daughter) is able to travel up from Melbourne to bring me home from the surgery and stay with me for a couple of days.
Another questions. I had been using implannon rod to control my periods, over the years. The last one was put in around 2011 and is still in my arm somewhere. As I have very thick arms I cant feel it and haven't bothered about it. I believe that it has run out of the hormones anyway after all of this time. Is this something I should tell my surgeon about?
I have so many questions. When will I start radiation? Will someone contact me or do I contact them?
I met my Breast Care Nurse but she was heading on vacation to France the next day. I have the number of another one and I will phone her and make contact with her this week.
It's like my whole life is about the Cancer now. I am being strong in front of everyone else but these times at home alone I am terrified.
Sorry if this is all over the shop but that is how my head works. I have been treated and continue to be treated for Depression an Anxiety for close to 20 years and have only recently found a good balance. The Lite N Easy journey was me actually caring about myself. Some days I shake so much it looks like I am having a min seizure.
Usually I am upbeat and cheeky and able to find the lighter sign of things. But tonight I am low.
Any insights would be wonderful.
365 Replies
It's an experience, @taboogal What I hope you have done is stepped into a shower and turned it on full blast. Closest thing to an orgasm, ever. Almost, but not quite, worth the whole drama.
I've gone through this twice and I can honestly say that I now understand why some of my male friends shave their heads (apart from it making them look like gangstas) They just get off on the feel of water on their heads.
On a more practical level, you should no have to pay more attention to it than any other part of your body, but do be very careful of keeping it out of the sun. It's just skin. Mxx
So just did this. The fall was terrible. Hair everywhere. Almost bought a leaf blower to get the hair outside. Now Beautiful Ladies and Gentlemen I need your advice. Scalp care? It has the tiny bristle still. Not smooth shaven. Should I do that? Moisturiser?- @Zoffiel Def out for the count now!
- Ah, that's bollocks. What a bloody nuisance. See what they come up with, you've got a couple of weeks before you need to worry too much about it. Settle in for Hell week and deal with it later. Mxxx
- The saga of the dicky port. It turns out it was the radiologist who fit it was the one doing the investigation. Much policy conversation regarding only chemo room can put the clip in, I said shit give it to me I'll do it or I give you permission to do it. So using dye I can see it working through the vein but still unable to draw blood. Chemo room policy is if they cant draw blood the wont infuse chemo through it. Have left it to the powers to be to prove that the chemo is safe. I bet all of the Dorovitch bleeders will run when they see me coming cos it's a struggle to get into my veins. Too tired to care right now.
- @kmakm hope you get better. Got this port appointment then heading back to bed xxx hugs
- Result! Make that appointment. That is in your control. The port situation is not so go all zen on it and let the medicos sort it out. Rest and get those wafers in girl!
Right now I'm sitting in the waiting room, waiting to see the GP. No nausea but very tired... #hotflushorama - @kmakm You were right
My new GP just wanted to catch up and see how I was going. I took advantage of the visit to get a script for those anti nausea wafers.
Ever have synchronicity happen? I've been meaning to make an appointment with a counselor I have used in the same practice but she is very hard to get into. She saw me and raced up with a big hug and told me to put me down on her waiting list and she would shuffle me in. She also whispered that she would bulk bill me. Happy result all around. Now I need to sort out this port problem this arvo! So so tired and a tad nauseous. - Beautiful poem @TabooGal thanks so much for sharing xxx
- @Zoffiel The biggest life lesson on this journey so far is being a patient patient
