Hi Jilly
What a trial for you! I could say "I know just hoyou feel", but I do and I don't. I totally understand your fear....biopsies, chemo etc, but luckily "if we look at it this way!), the most aggressive of my cancer was in my breast. Then they found some had spread to my sacrum. THAT biopsy was scary, as I was awake for it, just with local anesthetic. Lots of things go through your head...your family, how you'll cope, if the medicos are actually telling you absolutely everything. So those bits I totally get.
One thing I do know, this experience will make you stronger than you ever thought you were. Life takes on a real important "place" - you will find yourself valuing your reltionships more, doing things that perhaps you enjoyed in childhood, and most of all, learning how to be really positive.
Please keep in touch, welcome to this site, where together we can laugh together, cry together, share everything and vent, vent, VENT!
Thinking of you
love and hugs
Kathleen
PS I started a group Anxiety and Depression, it's proving really good. Lots drop in and air lots of stuff xx