Sam, I know it seems hard to add something else into your life but it seems like you could do with some help such as counselling. You're letting your mind get so far ahead, full of the 'what might happen' scenarios. Yes, we're all guilty of that but you need to try and keep yourself in the present. No-one knows what their future holds. The person next door who has never had a sick day in their life could get run over by a bus tomorrow. By thinking of all the horrible things that might happen, you are only making yourself sick. You have so much to deal with now. Yes, we're here for you on this site but I truly think it would help if you could reach out to someone in person who can help you navigate through this time in your life. Sending love and healing.
