Thank you Annie!
Your organisation has been very helpful. I have ordered a Hopes and Hurdles pack and am sending it to her. I migrated to Australia in 2005. My friend lives in California so that Hopes and Hurdles pack is gonna see some milage! I know she has a support team in place there but like you mentioned, sometimes friends and family...as well meaning as they are trying to be, do default to the "stay positive" lines.
The scariest part is that when she asked everyone to send her links to stage four survivors, she was sent stories of stage one and two survivors, not even sure if they were secondary cancer survivors. This of course is a real blow to optimism.
I had forgotten that a client of my husband has been a ten year breast cancer survivor and she has most generously offered to help find some material for me to pass along as well.
The silver lining to all this is that my friend is young and has a great attitude, some days are harder than others of course but she is flighting.
Thanks again