Secondary Survivor Stories

hi, i understand your friend's shock and fear, plus uncertainty. these are emotions i have gone through.
all emotions are ok..anger, fear, bargaining, rage, etc. and with diagnosis and treatment you certainly go through a lot. i found it took time to adjust and it helped me to get accurate information to make informed choices about treatment  and prognosis.  talking to others in similar situations may help, although everyone's journey is slightly different.
 if your friend is so distressed she may benefit from talking to a psychologist or GP and may get some medical or psychological help. i now take an antidepressant daily, which can help with several areas, not just depression. it can help with flushes from treatments and early menopause, plus perception of pain etc. after two weeks of taking it.. your friend may feel less anxious and distressed.
she is dealing with " our worst nightmare", but there is hope. taking life day by day ..helped me. someone said that to me and it made sense and i have found it is a good motto now after i have finished treatment. just being there for your friend is a support. i guess you might feel helpless in that you want her to be better, and not distressed. as you and her work through the emotions, you may feel some calmness, if only for a short period each day; keep searching for answers.
 i had stage two early breast cancer and had chemo, radiation, plus some ongoing isssues, too long to go into here.
i am not sure if your friend is older or younger.  there is the" my journey kit" and also the " inside story" for those with metastatic BC.
with metstatic BC there is hope, never give up as new treatments are beng trialled and researched all the time. many live decades with it, or one day there may be a cure.
i live with the thought there may be a recurrence and also i might get run over by a bus tomorrow. we ALL live with uncertainty of when we will die, or how long we shall live. so staying in a place of fear will not change that really.
look after yourself and find out all you can, give it your best shot, let time help you to come to terms with it all, does help a little bit. right now, it is all so new and yes it is VERY SCARY and a BIG SHOCK!.. i hope you can find some calmness and a tiny bit of peace at this time. not sure if this helps, kathy.