Hi Sammy, Im so sorry to hear of whats happening for you right now. I can only imagine how incredibly daunting and frightening the whole thing is. So no words can take that away, but I wanted you to know I am thinking of you and sending a big hug!!! One step, one breath at a time as you go. Do you have a Counsellor that you speak to? or a Breast Care Nurse?? somebody?? I have found in the past this can help sometimes too. By all means vent away, certainly so many of us here supporting any way we possibly can! Melinda xo