Welcome to the blog, @OspreyBy ... sorry to see you here, but there is a wealth of info here and people who ‘get it’ and able to offer support and advice in many situations. That’s a bugger about your lungs :(
where abouts are you (town or city name)? Members may know of specific services available to your area.
Good on you for keeping your sense of humour - god knows we need it! We have a couple of humourous posts (including a Chrissy one) that should give you a laugh. Feel free to add any of your own xx
Good luck with the colonoscopy ... I had one a few months back after a bleed ... alll good.
take care xxxx