@Lynne48 I forgot to say, as I got side tracked (how unusual).............once you've made that funeral decision, put it away and be content in that you've visited that and it is a decision that is tucked away and hopefully not needed for a damn long time, 30, 40 50 years! and look forward to a long happy life!
As @onemargie has suggested there are ladies on here living with metastatic cancer and some for a very long time. Join the group and natter in private with others similar to your diagnosis
http://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/2-living-with-metastatic-breast-cancer