Hi! @emmat
As a nurse I am sure you would advise your patients to ensure they go to their follow up appointments.
Now you are a patient the advice through here is from patients and I certainly urge you to follow up on your appointments.
If you are struggling with all this then I, like others have already said, please seek Counselling. It is there for us all. I had no intent of using a Counsellor however I was put with one the day of diagnosis. She gave me some valuable tools to use when everything seemed overwhelming - a common denominator at the start of any diagnosis and treatment.
Take care