Hi @Cora, and I hope you are feeling ok today. The suggestions to get counselling are very good advice. In any case, don’t make your decision too quickly: a week or two may soften your perspective and quite possibly won’t affect the outcome.
Can I just offer an insight from my daughter, when I was in the throes of chemo? She thought that maybe it was a bit like childbirth: pretty overwhelming at the time, but quickly forgotten in the greater scheme of things. And, although my hair is so slow to grow, and I still find losing my fingernails very frustrating, she was basically right. Just an observation. Take input where you find it, but the decision must be yours. Bon chance!