Scanxiety management

@Locksley, he’s a 5 month old fiend! But he’s a snugglebunny. Xxx 

@Raich sending you hugs.  I am not far away from my first anniversary scans too so I hear all the things you are saying.  I will try grounding and counting too.  Ps.  Your cat looks lovely.

Best wishes to you @Raich. I went through my first mammogram and ultrasound post treatment recently. I was a mess. I was ok until I got on the bed for the ultrasound and then I wept like I never have before. It was surreal. I am normally very logical so I even surprised myself. The girl doing the ultrasound didn't know what to do. It just ran its course and once I was back in the waiting room I had no more tears.  I take heart in the fact it gets easier as years pass. 

Thank you beautiful friends. I appreciate your advice and reassurance. It is so goood to know I’m not the only one. After the grounding techniques failed I ended up getting through the last ultrasound by imagining my very naughty kitten was sitting on my chest purring. It helped a lot . I’ve been able to sneak in a doctors appointment on Monday afternoon  at the practice I usually go to. I’ll have a chat to the doc and see what she recommends. I’m on Tamoxifen, antidepressants and dexamphetamines so want to be sure if I am allowed to take something that it’s safe . 

Gosh you've been having a rough time of it @Raich xx  The girls have given some great advice .... I don't think they hand out 'Mother's Little Helper' anymore (Valium)?  

take care & all the best for the biopsy & we've all got our fingers & toes crossed for good results xx

Yeah, take whatever seems reasonable (advice from personal experience. do no take Phenergan unless you are sure it won't turn you into a rolling drunk)
I've got a counting program I use when I have to get into unpleasant machines or people want to stab me. Start counting backwards from 27, three second breaths in, three second breathes out for each number. Then from 26, then 25 etc. If you can hold it together, the program thing takes about 45 minutes. If you forget where you are up to, you have to start again.
When I assume the required position,  I tell people not to talk to me. Some well meaning do-gooder usually fucks it up. But I start with good intentions. It has worked for me. So have drugs. Best of luck. Mxx 

@Raich Can you do a Telehealth phone appointment to get a sedative, I think that’s still happening.

Hey @Raich,

Scanxiety ugghhhh...if it's any consolation (and I know it's not at the moment) it does get easier down the road a bit.  You have a double whamy with another biopsy.  No wonder you're having a freak out.  The fear of something else being wrong, did it spread etc etc etc.  All totally understandable and bloody awful. I really dislike it when your body takes over and you can't control the tears and shaking in your boots.    
Personally, I like the rolling drunk idea, that would give them something to talk about!  Seriously though, just make sure you speak up and tell them how you're feeling. Some staff will care, others will just go about their job.  Luck of the draw in that department lovely.
Personally, the grounding, stay in the moment thing doesn't work for me either.  I tend to use music.  I got through a barage of follow up scans and core biopsies for over 18 months trying to track another "suspicious thingy" by trying to remember the words to American Pie every time i would get in the MRI machine. No cheating, if you make a mistake you have to start the song again from the beginning. Just gives you something else to concentrate on.  I also use going total zombie mode and shut down completely.  
See if you can talk your gp into a nice packet of Diaz :)
All the best lovely.  I feel for you sweet.

I feel for you @Raich. When I go for check ups and scans etc, I also start crying in the waiting room, changing room, on the machine etc. I’m mostly over the whole diagnosis part of it, but for some reason I get all teary. Could be a mixture of fear, anxiety, anger, gratitude, relief. I just let the tears roll. They’re there for a reason. Obviously the situation stirs something, so I let it come out and release.