@Cory51
Sorry to read your feelings of despair but pleased to see others are providing comfort with similar experiences.
It's huge what you have been through and quite intense with keep a diary for appointments and or treatments and then all of a sudden it seems to peter off and you find yourself saying now what!
Someone in the media recently spoke of how mental health isn't obvious as you don't have something to distinguish like a plaster cast if you've broken an arm. This is similar. If you lose your hair through chemo it's oh goodness but if you get through without an obvious signal then the you should be okay response comes much sooner.
Eventually you will find that happy medium with a bit of reflection and pat on the back, as it is well deserved for what you have been through. Be proud and I hope your flat feeling subsides soon
Take care