No comfort

I could be wrong Michele, but it sounds to me like you’re going through a major shift. Which, tbh, is not at all surprising after having smth like bca. I started going through a shift before my diagnosis, but bca kicked and hurtled me through it much faster. I feel like I’ve been through the East Australian Current in Finding Nemo, when Marlin and Dory were swimming somewhat peacefully along it, then got flung and spun out unexpectedly by Crush. Only mine wasn’t fun like theirs. And ca is not cool like Crush. I think the illusion of the system gets destroyed, and we realise things we thought were important, that we were fighting so hard for before and which nearly ruined us, are actually not that important at all. And so we find ourselves in limbo, looking for something more meaningful, but it’s hard to figure out what and others can’t understand this need. So once again we can find ourselves feeling a bit isolated, not knowing which direction to take. Exercise, hobbies, walks etc are all very good, but are also in part distractions from the elephant in the room.