Well, my dear friend, the spectacular Ms M, has reached the end of the road and will be checking out after a final party in early December.Diagnosed in 2017 having just turned 89, M has been an absolute inspiration. Whenever I start feeling a bit sorry for myself, I consider the dignity and humour that I have witnessed from a woman who proffessed to never having taken a sick day in her life before BC came calling. She has sailed through the treatments that have floored women half her age. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough and she has now got brain mets.I don't want to upset anyone, but I'm finding it intriguing, and infuriating, watching her orchestrate her last weeks. She's having a living wake then is going to test drive the assisted dying laws. The shitty thing is that there is only one doctor up this way who will participate in end of life prescriptions, so she has had to go to Melbourne to get a second referral. All of which has taken up precious time and energy--though she has booked into an incredibly swanky hotel for the week and is 'making the most of it.' I'm so proud of her.M's situation is yet another reason that something needs to be done about the disparity between regional and metro services. It grinds my gears that she has had to shop around to achieve her wishes for a dignified death. I guess the hurdles don't become apparent until you see someone trying to jump over them. And a 92 y/o who wants to leave her life, like she leaves a room, with a wave and a rustle of flowing linen, shouldn't have to leap or climb over anything.

I'm so sorry that your good friend is forced to jump these hurdles at this time of her long and fruitful life, @Zoffiel. It really is a rotten state of affairs that a fully cognisant person, unaffected by mental illness which may impede her ability to make correct decisions regarding her life and death, has to do this. So very undignified, exhausting and just wrong. I understand there have to be checks and balances to protect the culling of frail and vulnerable people, who may be dispatched by avaricious rellies and such, but this is not that. I hope she gets her wishes of a peaceful and dignified death as her due rights after such a full life.

@cranky_granny, it's difficult to understand how philosophy and religious conviction and political shitfuckery can ignore the reality of how wrong a prolonged death 'experience' can be. M wants out before any do-gooder decides her brain tumour has effected her judgement, even though she made her intentions clear a year ago. Mxx

Goodness your friend Mrs M...............Assisted Dying in Victoria, since it has been approved there's little commentary in the media about it! I don't profess to know much about the process but by the sounds of it maybe not all Doctors are on board or do they have to be approved for the process, hence the trip to MelbourneGood on her for being in control and taking the path, when she is readyTake care

Sending many hugs and best wishes to Ms M on her final journey .I hope I have the courage down the track to do the same , and go with dignity .

One would wish for better but if it’s inevitable, what a grand and splendid way to go. Apart from the messing around with referrals. The stringency of the current legislation will almost certainly be reviewed over time but not much joy to those going through the process now. In spite of there being many more takers in Victoria than originally forecast, I’m not aware of any issues other than the satisfaction of departing at the time and in the manner of one’s choosing. We get no say in when, where or in what condition we come into the world, it seems only fair we get some choices about leaving it. You’ll miss her but a life well lived lives on.

Mongrel disease. Warning, this may be distressing for some

19 Replies

Zoffiel
Member
4 years ago
Well. That's was interesting. More later. Maybe.
June1952
Member
4 years ago
Another reason why it is so important to complete the new forms for end of life medical decisions.
Zoffiel
Member
4 years ago
@cranky_granny, it's difficult to understand how philosophy and religious conviction and political shitfuckery can ignore the reality of how wrong a prolonged death 'experience' can be.
M wants out before any do-gooder decides her brain tumour has effected her judgement, even though she made her intentions clear a year ago. Mxx
arpie
Member
4 years ago
Me too, @cranky_granny. I’ve petitioned our MP (a former nurse) a few times but he won’t say if he supports it or not. Animals have more rights than we do. :(
cranky_granny
Member
4 years ago
I hope NSW gets this VD law through at some point before my time is up. My biggest fear is the horrible loss of dignity my very proud hubby suffered. And we had to watch. I don’t want my Kids to go through watching it happen to me as well.
He only cried and let down his guard with me and the fear in his eyes as it drew closer was heartbreaking 💔
AllyJay
Member
4 years ago
I'm so sorry that your good friend is forced to jump these hurdles at this time of her long and fruitful life, @Zoffiel. It really is a rotten state of affairs that a fully cognisant person, unaffected by mental illness which may impede her ability to make correct decisions regarding her life and death, has to do this. So very undignified, exhausting and just wrong. I understand there have to be checks and balances to protect the culling of frail and vulnerable people, who may be dispatched by avaricious rellies and such, but this is not that. I hope she gets her wishes of a peaceful and dignified death as her due rights after such a full life.
Cath62
Member
4 years ago
Thinking of Ms M and you @Zoffiel. Sending virtual hugs x
arpie
Member
4 years ago
WOW! I didn't realise that @lrb_03 !! I wonder if they'll ever be able to re-enact that law?
lrb_03
Member
4 years ago
It's a long time since I've logged in to the forum. I've never been sure of VAD for myself, but support others right to make that choice. I wish your friend well.

@arpie said "NSW is still deciding about VAD - every other state has passed it & no doubt NT will, in time, too. Yep, there are stringent hoops to jump thru - and it really does suck that she has had to go outside of her local area to make it possible - tho maybe the glam hotel was nicer in Melbourne than at home? I hope she's had a wow of a time! "

The NT was actually the first place to pass VAD laws in the mid 90's. I was living there at the time and voted in the referendum. Dr Philip Neitschke (spelling horribly wrong here) was practicing as a GP in Darwin in that era and has been this country's biggest advocate of the modern times. As a result of this referendum, the then Liberal Federal government passed legislation that took away the right of the territories to make such laws. Until such time ad that legislation is repealed neither the NT nor the ACT can enact laws around VAD. Even those who didn't support the referendum at the time were angered by this

Sorry all for the rant but I do feel strongly about this, as if they do it for one thing it can happen again
Keeping_positiv
Member
4 years ago
@Zoffiel It is such an emotive time Ms M. I am very much pro life, but I do understand how some want to make their own plans of how they exit their earthly life. LIfe can be so difficult at times, poor dear, and I wish her a "good death".

@June1952 The movie, Last Cab to Darwin starring MIchael Caton, is such a thought provoking movie, it was produced in 2015. I haven't seen the movie Blackbird, but I did see Still Alice, another movie with Susan Sarandon, and she was wanting to control her end of life timing.