I think most on the forum can relate to your post, @Capricorn68 .... as we've been thru it too. This disease really mucks with your brain virtually as much (or even worse) than the physical surgery & ongoing treatments ....
Check out this link, where an Oncology Psychologist discusses her own ups & downs with Breast Cancer .... as it is only once a specialist/surgeon has been thru it themselves, that they can fully understand the things the diagnosis/surgery/treatment does to you. xx
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/23866/podcast-series-upfront-about-breast-cancer-what-you-don-t-know-until-you-do-with-dr-charlotte-to/p1Another Blog to check out, is a British BC Surgeon who also was diagnosed & had a recurrence - she was just amazed at how much she hadn't understood about the ramifications of a diagnosis, surgery, treatment & how it affects HER as a person, even now, some years later.
Read it 'in order' from the start .... it is very enlightening.
http://liz.oriordan.co.uk/Also, check out this post, as it points you to various areas in the Forum that you may find helpful to you - including art, craft, gardens & more ..... There is a link at the bottom to some 'tick boxes' that you can check out prior to any upcoming reviews/appointments ...
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/23477/a-big-welcome-to-all-our-new-members#latesttake care & all the best - and definitely be kind to yourself xx