How to prioritise self care?
So self care is the mantra in survivorship right? I need to do gym three times a week for the weight bearing exercises to stave off the bone damage of Letrozole. Haven't managed to work that into m...
Forum Discussion
@AllyJay Thank you Ally. I have never been any kind of parental pushover. I have cancelled sleepovers and withstood room destroying tantrums as a result (niece). She broke things that have not been replaced and has not tried it since. My children were voted best behaved in my local cafe when they were little, in an unofficial staff poll! It's because when they were even younger I warned them that if the bad behaviour continued, we'd leave. It did and we left. They were shocked and never misbehaved in a cafe again. No rubbery no's here!
The problem with my niece and nephew is we didn't raise them from birth, so our parenting style is completely foreign to them. They are kicking at the traces. And after two years of this, during which I had BC, and now have to find time for self care, I am exhausted with the fight and at my wits' end. I always give warnings. There's a sliding scale of punishment - loss of pocket money, no computer/tv, cancellation of events and so on, good behaviour is always praised, we try to laugh as much as possible, I hug them often, tell them I love them. It's just insanely hard.
My sister had so much mental illness as well as physical. She lived with my parents as she could not live on her own. My father resented her presence and then the childrens'. His retirement was 'ruined'. He loved them all dearly but my sister and he butted heads, and neither of them are/were easy to live with. Especially my sister. It was always walking on eggshells at the best of times. So as a result my mother over compensated and spoilt the children. Still does. She did everything for them. Breakfast in bed every day, constant checking that everything little thing was organised for them so they never had a chance to learn the consequences of forgetting or responsibility, constant buying them things, no chores. She was trying to work through her own grief of losing her child through them. She still does.
Bloody f******g breast cancer has screwed with my life, our lives, in so many ways. I hate it so f******g much.
The problem with my niece and nephew is we didn't raise them from birth, so our parenting style is completely foreign to them. They are kicking at the traces. And after two years of this, during which I had BC, and now have to find time for self care, I am exhausted with the fight and at my wits' end. I always give warnings. There's a sliding scale of punishment - loss of pocket money, no computer/tv, cancellation of events and so on, good behaviour is always praised, we try to laugh as much as possible, I hug them often, tell them I love them. It's just insanely hard.
My sister had so much mental illness as well as physical. She lived with my parents as she could not live on her own. My father resented her presence and then the childrens'. His retirement was 'ruined'. He loved them all dearly but my sister and he butted heads, and neither of them are/were easy to live with. Especially my sister. It was always walking on eggshells at the best of times. So as a result my mother over compensated and spoilt the children. Still does. She did everything for them. Breakfast in bed every day, constant checking that everything little thing was organised for them so they never had a chance to learn the consequences of forgetting or responsibility, constant buying them things, no chores. She was trying to work through her own grief of losing her child through them. She still does.
Bloody f******g breast cancer has screwed with my life, our lives, in so many ways. I hate it so f******g much.