I had a psychologist's appointment today. It was timely as you can imagine. We ranged over a few topics, and did discuss this one.
I cried a lot. I didn't mean to but she got me thinking deeply about 'stuff' and it was overwheming and the tears welled up unbidden.
She said many of the things you all have said here - this hive mind is second to none - and while she didn't give me answers, she came up with a couple of strategies. It's baby steps and you have to start somewhere.
My self-talk is atrocious. Turning it round is going to be the work. I barely want to try because I think I will fail (I feel like such a failure) but that's the point eh? There's got to be a better way to live.