How can psychologists help?

My experience thus far...diagnosed 2016...bilateral mastectomy with all the works but no radiotherapy due to another medical condition which removed that as an option is this. I think I have been far more psycologically wounded, scarred affected...whatever, by the people treating me, than by the disease itself. My oncologist is, shall we say, definitely on the spectrum. I call her The Ice Princess. I was in and out of hospital 56 days during my six months of chemo, due to severe side effects from the chemo, as well as having other co morbid conditions. She would swan into my room, with her retinue of acolytes and look, not at me, but to a spot somewhere behind my left shoulder. She would then deliver her schpiel along the lines of "Here we have a 58 year old woman with xyx (regarding my cancer) as well as abc...which makes her rather an interesting case". Towards the end of my chemo, I asked to see her registrar to get something for an excruciating frozen shoulder which was absolute agony. He never showed. I did see her later that day (after my chemo) at a preset appointment with her, Her response to me was, and I quote, "I'm really not interested in your boo hoo poor little me tale of woe regarding your shoulder...it has nothing to do with your cancer, and I am a very busy person with lots of very sick patients to see to". Swallowing my rage, I told her that that was the reason I had asked to see her registrar upon my arrival. Her reply to me was "Well I also don't have dozens of registrars available at your beck and call". Terrible but true. I can fill another twenty pages of mistreatment by persons all along the healthcare spectrum, who have caused me great pain on this magnificent "journey" I'm on. I've been treated as an "interesting case", the "bilateral mastectomy in bed 22" and been called by my first name by nurses far younger than my own children. I'm by no means an old stick in the mud, but I feel that this is just another aspect of a lack of respect. I'm sick of people rolling their eyes at me, and having had my body poisoned, sliced and diced, treated like a sausage on the conveyor belt and just a number, makes me rather reticent to have someone poking around inside me head too.

@Artferret , Thanks for sharing your experience. It does baffle me that psychological/counselling services are not part of the treatment package! Especially when it often seems that the mental health effects of cancer are actually more challenging than the physical cancer side-effects itself. 
Wow, having both yourself and your husband having cancer would be a large load to carry (even if you were carrying it together). But, good on you for taking the initiative to find a psychologist yourself! 

Hi @Afraser , I'm very glad that you were able to get onto a counsellor quite quickly.. it's great to think that one may only need a few sessions to see positive changes. And as you seem to have experienced, often the quicker you get help, the easier it is to get "back on track". 
Yes, I have come across a few people who also mention that a cancer diagnosis makes you prioritise what matters most in life.. e.g., making more time for yourself and not working ridiculous hours! (if only it didn't take a cancer diagnosis to do so!) And I can imagine, for some, job loss and financial strain would add another burden to the already huge mental load...

I went through Peter Mac as a private patient and looking back there was no asking whether i needed access to a psychologist even at the 6 month period. Neither was i offered the services of a breast care nurse until 12 months after. I don't know whether it was because i was early stage and wasn't going down the full treatment line (2 lumpectomies then hormone therapy,  no rads, no chemo). I ended up accessing a psychologist myself around the 6 month mark as i felt i needed it. My husband had prostate cancer at the same time so it was a lot to deal with. I am surprised it's not part of your treatment package and like everything you don't have to take it up. 

Hi @"Patti J"

I am a provisional psychologist and PhD candidate, but posts on this thread will not be used in a study (it would not be possible to use information on here without participant consent...). Whilst I plan to run a clinical trial later down the track in my studies (i.e., trialling a psychological therapy to help cancer patients/survivors cope with emotional challenges), at the moment I am trying to gain a basic understanding of the mental health difficulties that accompany cancer. Also, psycho-oncology is an area I am quite interested in pursuing after I finish my training, and I find online forums to be a really welcoming place / casual way to discuss these issues with people all over the world! So I am very grateful for all the input I receive.. as you can imagine, the research papers/textbooks don't give a very personal depiction of the lived experience! Feel free to ask any other questions. I really am here, not to probe, but to become more informed as a new mental health professional. 

It's a shame about your breast care nurse. It seems that the mental health services were quite limited for you @"Patti J"  :neutral: , and I can completely understand how it may seem odd to open up to a "stranger" who you know nothing about!!

As per at @PattiJ's comments, it can be quite difficult. I am Melbourne based - I went through chemo with very little difficulty and then wham! Got three potentially lifelong side effects in a row. My problem wasn't so much how to cope, but sorting out my own sense of who I was and how I functioned. My senior oncology nurse recommended a counsellor, she was excellent and a relatively small number of sessions got me on a path which I am still on. Not everyone has those options, there may be no-one available without excessive travel, some find their counsellors not particularly helpful or not cancer experienced.  I was 68, had worked throughout treatments, so no child rearing responsibilities, work wasn't a particular problem (I did change my job 12 months after diagnosis but by choice not necessity) and most of the changes I made (delegating better, making more time for myself, not working 60 hour weeks) were long overdue before I got cancer! If a cancer diagnosis throws you out of work (has happened), a lack of income threatens the roof over your head and you have children to support, maybe on your own, your problems are about survival in every sense of the word. For me, the critical thing was that my counsellor "got" me very quickly -  no pat answers, no standard therapies, straight and humour filled talking. The smart one was my oncology nurse - made a really sensitive match, rather than suggesting a support group or talking to my GP! 

@SarahS. Why do you want to know this information? Is it part of your studies?
I tried to contact a breast care nurse. She wasn't  interested. She thought I  lived too far from her workplace. I don't. 
I tried to talk to a social worker. She told me to talk to my G.P.
So, I  am  not sure that seeing a psychologist, that I know nothing about, would be of benefit to me.

Hi @arpie , wow 1.5 or 2 hours is a long way to travel. I am aware that I asked you this in the private discussion we had, but would also like to post this publicly for others to input... would an online skype/video or telephone-delivered therapy be a viable alternative to face-to-face therapy if you live in a rural area? Or, does that sound unappealing? 
Any input is welcome,
Thanks!

@SarahS ...

 I know that some members have had to wait weeks, even months for an appointment .... when the were in dire need of immediate assistance!!  Not good. :( 

i am not even sure if there IS a psychologist/psychiatrist  in my own area, without having to go to a bigger town nearby .... 1/2hr away, or a major town, 1.5 or 2 hrs away

Hi @Afraser ! Thanks for your reply. You're right.. my post was very broad. I guess I wanted to receive a broad range of answers, but perhaps it was too non-specific! Every path is different and I can only imagine how hard it would be when medical/health professionals try to "fit" you into a one-size-fits-all category of "cancer patient", when every diagnosis/treatment is unique. 
Arh, there's nothing worse than telling someone that "it's all in your mind" or alluding to the notion that "you have lost your marbles"... if it were that trivial, it wouldn't be causing so much distress. I like to think that no well-trained psychologist would respond in that way.

More specifically - do you think psychological support is accessible to people with cancer? For example, if you needed to access a psychologist/psychiatrist, would it be a hassle? I am specifically thinking of people who live in rural areas where specialised support may not be readily available, or for those who may not want to travel / do not have the time to attend a therapy appointment (e.g., fatigue, mobility issues, other physical side effects, demands of children, work commitments etc.).. or are these not very relevant barriers?  

Thanks again!