Finished radiation treatment today
I finish my radiation treatment today! I am both excited and apprehensive. For the last month it has been a constant and I know this may sound weird but I felt like this was helping me feel comforted ...
Forum Discussion
Congrats. Your feelings are very consistent with others. Even if they werent they are your feelings and its ok. I find it helps to think of emotions as transient things. In the middle of them they can be intense but generally they pass over time.
The end of active treatment was a really wierd feeling for me. I wanted to feel like celebrating but it felt a bit deflating. I finished in March this year. Ive had lots of up and downs since then, seeing a psychologist finally next week but i feel more even. What i felt largely was that i had a secret that noone outside the breast cancer experience understood and i couldnt talk about it. People are keen to move on. Bc affects those you love in a different way and they sort of feel relief that things are sort of over. Its hard to speak of your fears and hopes to those outside the bc sphere. I was changed too. I can tell you that i had quite a few "f**k you" tantrums when i wanted to do something, wanted to know if others wanted to do it and they remained non committal. I had things to do and i had my tantrum and did what i wanted. I expressed to my gp that i felt others were "behind me" and i couldnt connect to them. Thankfully this has eased a bit but one friendship has been lost along the way as the persons expectations of what i shouldve done for them during treatment and what they wanted from me couldnt be met. I was upset but now i feel freed from that burden.
Anyway, what your experiencing isnt wrong you just have to move through and process it. Im still reassessing my life. Its not all "bam i know how to do it" it takes a bit of figuring out over time.
The end of active treatment was a really wierd feeling for me. I wanted to feel like celebrating but it felt a bit deflating. I finished in March this year. Ive had lots of up and downs since then, seeing a psychologist finally next week but i feel more even. What i felt largely was that i had a secret that noone outside the breast cancer experience understood and i couldnt talk about it. People are keen to move on. Bc affects those you love in a different way and they sort of feel relief that things are sort of over. Its hard to speak of your fears and hopes to those outside the bc sphere. I was changed too. I can tell you that i had quite a few "f**k you" tantrums when i wanted to do something, wanted to know if others wanted to do it and they remained non committal. I had things to do and i had my tantrum and did what i wanted. I expressed to my gp that i felt others were "behind me" and i couldnt connect to them. Thankfully this has eased a bit but one friendship has been lost along the way as the persons expectations of what i shouldve done for them during treatment and what they wanted from me couldnt be met. I was upset but now i feel freed from that burden.
Anyway, what your experiencing isnt wrong you just have to move through and process it. Im still reassessing my life. Its not all "bam i know how to do it" it takes a bit of figuring out over time.