Hi Caz1
everyone is different
and yet, everyone on here can relate in some way to what you are saying
I have had my mastectomy and radiotherapy ( did not need chemotherapy) and have been on Femara for a few months.
When I was getting all the results of my scans and there was no evidence the cancer had spread to other places I thought that was the end of it.
then I found out that most women who get stage 4 cancer get it later on, not on the first diagnosis.
so of course we all have some anxiety about recurrence .
the main difference is how we deal with it.
sone may need professional help to deal with it , some may not.
Each month that passes since the end of my radiotherapy I get a bit better.
I realised after I went away on holiday for a week a couple of months ago I had spent a whole week without crying!So that was progress.
I am trying to focus on only doing things that are fun or necessary , looking after myself both physically and emotionally and enjoying all the good things about my life.
I have found this forum very helpful as only women who have had breast cancer can ever truly understand what it is like.