Feeling happy
OMG, what a day I’ve had. Sitting by myself in the back yard, quietness, then the songs of birds, oh and then, as I sat under the flowering Wisteria tree, I heard it, the sound of heaven, yep, the bees, they were flittering to and fro, happy, jubilant, as they flew from blossom to blossom, as they did this, they sang their song, it was only a hum, but they were all in unison, no rhythm, no chords, no lyrics, just the sounds of their tiny wings, praising their creator, they were singing His praises and as I listened I recalled a verse somewhere, Let Everything that has Breath Praise Him, so there I stood in awe, that even the bees, praise Him, they know, but pity humans don’t. So then I sit down and look, it’s warm, the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and then the breeze started, softly, gently, causing the trees to move and sway with the rythym of the breeze, again it reminded me that everything in all Creation cries out to God, yes and again even the trees of the fields will clap their hands, so I watched in awe, as branches started to sway, then the leaves, and then I knew, they too were praising their Creator. As I watched I observed that everything in the ground grows upwards, upwards towards the sky, and in the process displaying many different forms of glory. Each plant, each flower, each tree, unique, different yet shining for Him. I love reminding myself of the fact that God created all this. I like gardening, but I only put the plants in. He is the one who created them. So all Glory be to God. I cant wait to be in His garden, He has already shown me part of it, picked out just for me, in my favourite colour. So yes I feel good today, God is in control. Let the heavens be glad, let the earth rejoice!!! Amen my blog for today.
I’ve been wronged, by the people who are suppose to take care of me. They made me feel like dirt, a so called Christian organization, I’m gona fight this, even if its the last thing I do.
But it won’t be the last thing that I do. I know, categorically that my decision is right. Not only have I brought distress, shame and disgust of myself to my family & friends, I have surrendered my all to Him, From now on, what ever days I have left, I will, with the help of His Holy Spirit, shine for the Glory of God, not for me, no, far from it, but that I be remembered as a wretched sinner saved by His grace and His grace alone.
No words, no rituals, no tradition, just a cry from the heart. Thats what He hears, not empty repetitious words, He hears the heart. He hears every pain, every discomfort, every heartache, thats what He hears. Does He answer, YES, but in HIS time, not ours, WHY? I don’t know, I cant figure it out, but it is by the grace of God that I am here today and even writing this. Oh God, why did you let me go through all this stuff, why? I guess as the AA folks say, live and let God. For me its taken a long time to re- hear His voice, but its like a gramophone, and I love it, common God, love hearing you.
To ALL, my days, however long, however short, will be lived as God created it to be lived, a saved sinner, human being, with health for what ever length, for He said I have come to give life in abundance, that is what I will pursue, not length of days, traumatic, subhuman, un manageable, bitch, no, not me, I will give, and love where I can and hopefully if people allow, share my story, share about Gods love, how He rescued me, oh my God oh how He rescued me. The scars bear it all. I will now show them. Its taken a long time, It still hurts when I write, im crying, why did I do this, OMG. But no, I will not be beaten.
