Hi @Job, I wish you could sit down with a few of the people who contribute to this support forum, maybe a cuppa or a glass of red/white. Have a box of tissues handy as you all share your experiences of the 'new normal' which nobody wanted - its tough. I agree with TonyaM regarding depression, it might help to ask your GP for something mild to help you sleep. I'm into my 9th year of on-going treatment and during that time I've spoken with counsellors to do what I call, 'A reality check'. Please stay in touch and continue to post, their are no judgements, you will be accepted for who are. When I was diagnosed in May 2011 I read every 'C' book in the local library and decided it was a waste of time except for one or two. By contrast this forum is GOLD! xxxxx Beryl