Coping with the 'new normal'
Hi all I'm grateful that I've gotten through invasive treatment and life has kind of gone back to normal, although I'm still working out my 'new normal'. I finished rads 6 week ago and have been o...
Forum Discussion
I get it, I get it, I get it. You are different now, you will never be the same person again. The old you is gone, there's no going back to her. Things that 'worked' before no longer work.
I am struggling through the same thing. So many of us here are. I struggled for several months but it got worse for me so I sought counselling. I'm seeing a clinical psychologist and I think it's helping.
We all have to pick our way through this very difficult time. Your new normal will be different from mine, from anyone's. Start with being kinder and gentler with yourself. Acknowledge that what has happened has changed you. Give yourself space and time to feel that.
You could think of it like this (just read this analogy on the internet): you were a caterpillar. When cancer arrived you went into survival mode and you, the caterpillar, went into a cocoon, while all the attention was on surviving. Now that you survived the caterpillar can come out again. But no, you don't come out of the cocoon as a caterpillar. You've changed, you come out as a butterfly.
That's a bit of a cutesy way of looking at it, but you get what it means I'm sure! You can't fight the change, you have to accept it, use the opportunities it gives you to make changes that need to be made and maybe we'll end up being OK with where we land.
Can you tell some closer friends how it is now so you don't have to pretend? Or maybe a support group where you can let your guard down with fellow survivors? Kerping up that facade is exhausting .
Have you looked into The Otis Foundation? A trip away with your husband might be a good circuit breaker.
Doing something you love, just for you, for a bit of time everyday seems to be a common piece of advice. What comes to your mind?
Baby steps. I can't tell you it gets better from personal experience, but I'm trusting everyone here who tells me that it does. Big hug, K xox
I am struggling through the same thing. So many of us here are. I struggled for several months but it got worse for me so I sought counselling. I'm seeing a clinical psychologist and I think it's helping.
We all have to pick our way through this very difficult time. Your new normal will be different from mine, from anyone's. Start with being kinder and gentler with yourself. Acknowledge that what has happened has changed you. Give yourself space and time to feel that.
You could think of it like this (just read this analogy on the internet): you were a caterpillar. When cancer arrived you went into survival mode and you, the caterpillar, went into a cocoon, while all the attention was on surviving. Now that you survived the caterpillar can come out again. But no, you don't come out of the cocoon as a caterpillar. You've changed, you come out as a butterfly.
That's a bit of a cutesy way of looking at it, but you get what it means I'm sure! You can't fight the change, you have to accept it, use the opportunities it gives you to make changes that need to be made and maybe we'll end up being OK with where we land.
Can you tell some closer friends how it is now so you don't have to pretend? Or maybe a support group where you can let your guard down with fellow survivors? Kerping up that facade is exhausting .
Have you looked into The Otis Foundation? A trip away with your husband might be a good circuit breaker.
Doing something you love, just for you, for a bit of time everyday seems to be a common piece of advice. What comes to your mind?
Baby steps. I can't tell you it gets better from personal experience, but I'm trusting everyone here who tells me that it does. Big hug, K xox