Hi all,Has anyone got any good tips for managing chemo /menopause brain? I seem to be suffering great boughts of forgetfulness disorganisation and logistical struggles and its causing me stress trying to fix up all the whoopsies and manage my life. I have teenagers and all the appts and organising on top of work and my own needs to keep my health on straight is no easy task. Do you think it improves?What are your experiences so i dont feel like a complete nong. M

Hi @Michelle_R I’m not sure if this is super helpful, but I find making sure I put absolutely everything in to my phone calendar including things like “take Panadol” or “call x about cancelling appt” or whatever. Absolutely everything goes in with reminders to pop up on my phone. I also take notes in to the “notes” app on my phone at appts so I remember what they say. Basically I just document everything even if I think “I’ll definitely remember that!” Because I have learnt there is a good chance I won’t. It’s tough because I have always prided myself on my good memory so it’s tough when that is gone. It just adds to the laundry list of things that just aren’t the same anymore. Good luck!x

Hi @Sister,We are in school hols right now. I wake them at noon! I dont actually remind them about schoolwork or anything but medication, appts yes because guess who gets to make appts. Im responsible for their health. Ive been "fortunate" to be unwell - virus of some kind (covid test says no) - and cancelled all this weeks appointments. I feel much better mentally as overwhelm is gone. I also had day off work. I think its just the stress of juggling all the balls and dropping them occassionally spectacularly. I "caught up" with some admin. Still have a whoopsie to fix. Maybe i need a mental health day occassionally and reduce rushing between all the appts.

Can you take leave from work? I seriously think so many women just try to juggle too many balls these days, we don't have to. Give some others some responsibilities. I hope I don't upset anybody by saying this, but truly we need to look after our health much better. Don't try to be everything to everybody, I have tried that, it just doesn't work.

It does get better, but it takes a long time. Try to keep things really simple (not easy with teen input) and cut out, or delegate, anything that can reasonably be abandoned. You'd be surprised how much stuff we do that we don't really have to. My councilor was always on at me about the 'should' thing. I've learned to consider the difference between 'must' 'should' and 'could'.Don't feel like you are failing if you can't keep up with your old self. I've been brutally honest with my boss when it comes to my capacity. I've found that after 7 hours at my desk I'm shagged, so I've negotiated a shorter day. No point me being there for the extra hour if I'm not productive.Hang in there. There's not much you can do about this, just keep plodding through it. Mxx

Hi thereI am 63 and semi retired with my own business - although I have a laptop, IPad and iPhone I still use a paper diary on my kitchen bench.I write down business appointments and personal appointments in different colours and I also do a daily “ to do”list.With my drugs , I bought a Webster pack ( just like the one I got for my 88 year old mum ☹️) as I now have different drugs to take each day in the morning and the evening .Although I didn’t have chemo ( had double mastectomy and radiotherapy and now on Letrazole) I found the whole cancer shitfest messed with my mind and I’m just not as focussed as I used to be.

Chemo brain -overwhelmed by my life

Keeping_positiv
Member
4 years ago
@Sister as long as you are happy, that is the important thing to remember. :)
Sister
Member
4 years ago
@Keeping_positive1 I think her comment was more along the lines that my expectations of myself were very high and that I, along with the people around me, still expected that I could keep all the info in my head and deliver as required and that it was important that I accepted the impact that the trauma of diagnosis and treatment had had on me. With some strategies in place, I have mostly been able to continue at a reasonable level but that high-functioning that I took as part of me, has gone. Getting others to accept that as well has been a long journey. Family mostly along for the ride (and jokes aside, very supportive) but it has been more challenging at work: "Don't you remember that?" "You must remember that!" No - sorry, I have absolutely no recollection. Do you have evidence? Yes? Well, it must have happened then. Good on ya! Funnily enough, I work in a high school and for some reason anything relating to a particular Shakespearean play has disappeared into a black hole. Some might find that disturbing while others would consider it deserving. :D
FLClover
Member
4 years ago
@June1952 yes I am impressed!! And about bloody time I say, that you put yourself first!! 🥳🥳👏🏻👏🏻😀😀.
We are definitely trained that way, which is so wrong and so unfair. The workload, no matter where, needs to be shared by everyone. And people need to stop waiting on the woman to do everything just because she can. And the woman needs to start telling people to fob off and do things themselves 💪🏻.
And for the upteenth time, you’re not old!! 🤨
💟💟💟
Keeping_positiv
Member
4 years ago
@Sister was your psychologist suggesting you were operating at a "superwoman" level before, as many "average" women wouldn't operate at that higher level. If that is the case I find that comment by your psychologist to be a backhanded comment in regards to how she/he views many women in general. Your reality is your reality, and you needed to be taken seriously. I hope things are improving for you. Best wishes.
June1952
Member
4 years ago
Perfectly put @Keeping_positive1. Us women are trained from early on to take care of others and in that process we leave the importance of ourselves way behind.
I am not young but I have now decided to put me at the top of the list for a change ! (Impressed @FLClover ?). This is beginning with the 'little' things such as treating myself and I will work up to bigger expectations of others.
FLClover
Member
4 years ago
@Keeping_positive1 yep 👌🏻👌🏻
Cath62
Member
4 years ago
Totally agree @Keeping_positive1 with your comment about about being everything to everyone- it doesn't work! I tried it 🙂 and it failed for me. I now put myself first every day. You can't give from an empty cup as they say
Keeping_positiv
Member
4 years ago
Can you take leave from work? I seriously think so many women just try to juggle too many balls these days, we don't have to. Give some others some responsibilities. I hope I don't upset anybody by saying this, but truly we need to look after our health much better. Don't try to be everything to everybody, I have tried that, it just doesn't work.
MicheleR
Member
4 years ago
Ie only just gone back to work after annual leave!
MicheleR
Member
4 years ago
Hi @Sister,

We are in school hols right now. I wake them at noon! I dont actually remind them about schoolwork or anything but medication, appts yes because guess who gets to make appts. Im responsible for their health.

Ive been "fortunate" to be unwell - virus of some kind (covid test says no) - and cancelled all this weeks appointments. I feel much better mentally as overwhelm is gone. I also had day off work. I think its just the stress of juggling all the balls and dropping them occassionally spectacularly. I "caught up" with some admin. Still have a whoopsie to fix.

Maybe i need a mental health day occassionally and reduce rushing between all the appts.