Fingers crossed for you @arpie about that appointment.
I feel I could write a book about our experience. Dad and mum were so in love, they were like teenagers. He was so reliant on her, he was like a puppy dog. But mum wouldn’t have had it any other way. Mum just got tireder and tireder. Turned out she had a heart problem, so at age 85 had a major surgery to replace 2 valves. My dad went to stay with my brother, and while he was there fell over and broke his leg. Up till then he was functioning pretty well at home, eating, helping around the house etc . Happy as Larry.
The fall accelerated everything. Apparently trauma causes the brain to deteriorate even further, so it was a hellish couple of weeks in hospital trying to keep him still ( impossible) then into respite, then he deteriorated so quickly into permanent care. He was drugged to the eyeballs. Turns out the combo of drugs he was on made him aggressive. It was horrible. My dear old dad, a complete gentleman was out of control. It was so sad. He recognised us till the end, which was a blessing but all he wanted to do was come home but mum just couldn’t look after him any more.
Bits and pieces of advice.... watch out for drs piling drugs on. At the very end, he was admitted to a psych unit and they were weaning him off every thing he calmed down. Those people were absolute SAINTS. He was put into compulsory guardianship because he kept trying to escape. We were so worried about him being in a psych unit, but it was fantastic where he was, I wish we hadn’t delayed it so much . They would have sorted out his meds smartly and there would have been less suffering for him.
Every move / change caused setbacks for him.
He became anxious in unfamiliar situations, was happiest at home. With mum. I wish I’d known this earlier, so I didn’t get so frustrated with him.
He used to love it when I took my dog into visit him.
Depression is another symptom of dementia. Some days he was just weepy. He was on Prozac for that too.
Its so hard. But he had probably close to 8 good years living pretty well with it at home. That’s what I try to remember. And it does wear you down. There are curve balls left right and centre!
It’s mentally exhausting Maybe this helped prepare me for my breast cancer journey...
I can only imagine the extra mental load you are carrying right now on top of your bc. :/
Sending hugs
Caz x
ps ask me anything!
