Gay
I can say that worse don't happen at sea, I am ex Navy. The land is were trouble begins and ends. My mother like you had a hysterectomy when she was 26 so thats around 35 years ago. She decided on not taking anything. She did the Radiation, did not have any lymph nodes affected so was very lucky. But as she watched and I mean watched (NOT HELPED) me cope with my illness I turned the tables and armed her with everything she needed so that her decision was hers and not one that is forced by some oncologist to if given time to think (which they do not give you) would do. Empower yourself. No matter what your going to have misgivings on what you decide. I feel guilty now not finishing Chemo, but then I think to myself SO WHAT, i already had a 80% chance of it never recurring the chemo only gave me an extra 10% because you always have a 10% chance no matter what of it coming back so you have a 1 in10 chance of it recurring at some stage anytime any year no matter what you do. Don't be hard on yourself, your body as already done that for you, be easy on yourself and just make a choice. No matter what you do it will the right choice regardless of what will happen because it was your choice.
I travel because I love the world, cannot see the world in a coffin, cannot imagine being in a coffin would be bored stupid dead or not. Cancer makes our life stand still, I feel so boxed in at home, when I work, when i get home, its like i have to be moving or talking. I hate sleeping because it eats into my fun time. Its like have PTDS you literally are distressed about what just happened and realise that you nearly lost the one thing that you get one go at, unless your a buddist in which case you could come back as a gnat and they have like a life cycle of a day or something so who wants to be a buddist if that is the case, so i am on the move. I have no time for stupidity, cranky doctors and people who do not respect my choices in treatments.
Gay be who you want to be, educate yourself make a choice and stand by it. Your already through the hard bit!