I felt exactly the same as you before I started taking tamoxifen in Jan 2013. I was terrified that I would gain weight, develop terrible insomnia and become moody and depressed. My oncologist actually told me that most of her patients on tamoxifen gained about 5kg.
But I can honestly say none of these things has happened. I do think my hair may be affected by tamoxifen - it is less thick and lustrous than it used to be (thought it was a hangover from chemo but I read on here that tamoxifen can affect your hair) Also, I recently had a pelvic ultrasound which found the lining of my uterous has thickened. This is very common apparently. I am off to see a gynocologist about it soon. But otherwise I haven't had any side effects.
Like Deanne I put quite a lot of effort into eating a healthy diet and exercisiing regularly. I think being as healthy as possible helps your body tolerate medications better. I too see a healthy lifestyle as offering additional protection against a BC recurrance. I wouldn't now want to stop my tamoxifen as I feel it makes a significant reduction to my risk (11 % in my case). It makes me feel protected.
I would say give the tamoxifen a try at least. Some people do experience unpleasant side effects but you could be one of the lucky ones who does not. It is a very effective drug with a proven history of reducing breast cancer risk. Good luck, Janet.