I feel worse now than when I was having radiation

Yes, I felt low about 4-6 weeks after radiation too. And yes it got better after that, maybe a week or two after. 

@Ausmum2 thanks so much: i'm 55 too.  i like your approach: next time someone tells me I'm strong I'm going to ask them what the alternative would look like lol. thank you so much.made my night 

Please read the link put up earlier about Fatigue 
As you have come to realise you are not going crazy
Be kind to yourself 
Take care

@ARPIE thanks so much. I've spoken to a new GP and my psychologist today and realised just how dramatic sudden removal of hormones actually is. It's a much bigger deal that i realised! I guess i had thought the surgery would be the hard part. I feel less like i'm going crazy, so now have to concentrate on getting through the down stuff/bad times. This outlet has really helped. I'm so grateful. xxx

You've nailed it there, @RipleyandJones - re work & expectations vs reality .... Don't beat yourself up, as most of us have felt what you are going thru xx

Do you have a sympathetic boss/supervisor?  Are you able to have a chat with them?  This disease really does muck with your brain, even more than the body, I reckon.  It can also make you a bit more emotional than before - and that makes you a bit vulnerable to peoples' comments. :(    Most don't 'mean'  to be 'nasty' ... they just don't truly think thru their comments.   

Yes, sadly, even family members can believe you 'cured' after your surgery and 'treatment' and expect you to 'be as before' ... but as we know it takes much longer to really get over all the mental and physical trauma that we've been through.  :(   

Definitely be kind to yourself and feel free to say 'no' to requests or expectations of behaviour from you, until you are up to it.  Definitely consider have a chat with a counsellor (or ring the helpline above & have a chat) ... 
they can help give you coping mechanisms xx

Yes, we do all deserve a medal - and we are all strong in our own way xx.

Try and keep busy in your 'down time' .... it helps keep your mind off 'things' ...

Take care and all the best for your ongoing treatment xx

Thank you so much @Cath62.  I am very much struggling with the expectations of others. I had 3 months off work, but now I'm back and people naturally expect the old me to be back. And she isn't! But it's hard to talk about that stuff at work because then people start questioning competency etc etc and its hard enough being a woman in the place I work without having to deal with everyone's curiosity. It's a bit like they expect me to be either totally fine or really really sick and in hospital. Like they can't cope with the middle ground. I guess i need to get better at communicating!  I feel like every woman with breast cancer should be given a medal of some sort; and money to spend on self care. Imagine that going into the federal budget!  i really appreciate you taking the time to write. Last week was an epically low point for me and i am hoping that talking more about it will help things improve now. hugs. 

Hi again @RipleyandJones, if things don't improve after giving the tamoxifen a fair go you can always chat to the oncologist. I was told by my oncologist that recovery from active treatment can take up to 2 yrs so be gentle with yourself. She told me one day I will just wake up and feel normal. I guess I have my new normal. Certainly chemo and radium takes a toll and I think my body has aged from it. I can't do what I use to pre breast cancer. 

I found too that after my active treatment period expected me to be fully recovered. They would say you must feel great now that's over. Over, it's not over yet but I am getting there. People just can't understand if they haven't had bc and it's treatment. How could they. I guess just being honest with family and friends is best, it might help them understand.

 This is the time to do what is best for you. If you are weary then rest, if wanting to go out then do. I use to do things for everyone but now I put myself first. I still do things for family but not at my own expense. I have my self care routine and that is my priority. If others don't understand that, it's their problem. I just don't worry about what others think anymore. It isn't my business anyway 😀. 

Remember too that once diagnosed you are pumping out lots of adrenalin to fight this terrible disease. Adrenalin is used in our bodies when we are in a fight/flight response like in treatment. Once the big fight is over all that adrenalin must come down and this can leave you feeling a bit flat. 

Big hugs and sending you lots of love. 💐

@RipleyandJones it’s funny that people think it’s over after active treatment is finished but 5 (or 10 for some) years of taking a hormone inhibitor is still a treatment in my mind particularly if you have bad  side effects. My cousin is on her 3rd different AI in 2 years but I’m still on the same 1 in about the same time frame. But any little niggle I feel I blame it on my little white pill 😂

Thanks so much @Cath62

This has just been a really hard week; and i didn't expect it. I thought the path ahead would be a nice tidy pace of improvement. But the hot flushes (which are more like hot hours) with the body aches and pains and the fatigue and feeling sick just overwhelmed me. I know we need to be positive and I usually am, this has just really taken me by surprise. Also I think most people around me think that I should be better now because the surgery and radiation is over...and I don't want to let them down. I really appreciate everyone's advice and support. Gives me some more hope that a new normal might be possible! Thank you!
rj

Hi @RipleyandJones, all the ladies have given great advice above. I just wanted to say that at the start of tamoxifen I didn't feel good at all and really big hot flushes. I started after I completed surgery, 4 months chemo and radium. It's alot to go through even without tamoxifen. We have been through so much. Treatment is long and takes alot out of us so fatigue is a really big deal.  Recovery takes a long time just to get over active treatment and then there is tamoxifen. I started on tamoxifen in November 2020 after the yr of treatment. It took several months to settle down, but it did. I still get tired and weary. I think we have a 'new normal' that happens after awhile and we adjust. Things get better. Hang in there.