Hi to melclarity, Momma4 and iserbrown, thanks as always for your support. The Gp would mostly agree with you, despite it being on the list of possible side effects. I had to turn to him, not a bad thing, as the bcn would not return my calls. Seems the place is runing with a half time staff member instead of 2. I'm sure the newly diagnosed and those starting this journey are the priority, and rightly so. I well remember how desperate I was to talk to one in the beginning of all of this. And I do have other avenues.
So the appointment is made for the 8th of March, not too far away.
As for choosing happiness, that is the decision but somehow, at times, not the reality I find myself in. It should be that simple but it aint. So I hope to find some clues as to how to make that a reality again and how to come to terms with my situation. Funnily enough I didn't think I was doing that badly. Self analysis is risky!
Good luck with your search for support Momma4. I think acknowledging we need support is a very good first step to some emotional healing. The medical stuff is mostly done and possibly that regular visit/care/treatment time left one tired, the body and mind needing repairing. As you said now we are almost alone, vulnerable and wondering what the next assault will be.
A hug to you all and thankyou, Linda