Forum Discussion

Cath_C's avatar
Cath_C
Member
15 years ago

You can't do this, should you be doing that?

Hi Ladies,

I was wondering if anyone can give me some advice on how to deal with well meaning friends questioning everything you do.

I had a L mastectomy last fri and came home from hospital on mon. On mon night I went to CFA training as I do every mon night. Only a few people in my brigade know my situation at the moment and I had all of them at different points of the evening either asking me if I should be there or telling me I shouldn't be there. In the end I just wanted to scream at them "I lost a boob not my brain". I am perfectly capable of deciding what I can or can't manage so why do they seem to think that ability was removed with my boob?

I am finding it really frustrating and a little hurtfull that my friends don't seem to trust my ability to make decisions for myself now.

Cath xx

4 Replies

  • katie_k's avatar
    katie_k
    Member
    15 years ago

    Well done for continuing on with your daily life!

    You are the only one who knows what you can and can't do.

    I think in some ways it is easier for me to go through this cancer than it is for my friends and family to watch me go through it.

    This is mainly because they have'nt had the same experience and are not sure how to react.

    The second reason is that I have to stay strong so that I make it through as well as  I can.

    I have learnt, though, through the support of my friends how to be more giving and not to be afraid to help.

    Good Luck! with the rest of your treatment, and thankyou for giving your time to helping those in your community.

  • Cath_C's avatar
    Cath_C
    Member
    15 years ago

    Ha ha ha, that gave me a good laugh thanks Josie. It is so true.

  • mezza's avatar
    mezza
    Member
    15 years ago

    I agree and they are the same as your so called friends who stay away and then say "they couldnt handle it!

    What exactly do they have to handle? They arnt the ones with cancer. Oh well i got rid of them out of my life and welcomed some fantastic genuine friends into it

  • TonyaM's avatar
    TonyaM
    Member
    15 years ago

    Cath,I think you summed it up in your first sentence saying"well meaning" friends.Perhaps they had genuine concern?I'm not sure what you do at CFA training but good on you if you felt up to going.Some of us want to get back to normality as quick as possible and others need that time out to recover- we are all different.Personally,I didn't want to go anywhere for a week until my drain came out - found it abit restricting.Sounds like you are recovering in leaps and bounds.

                              Tonya xx