TOmmy, you sound just like me. I have just finished my active treatment - the usual 16 rounds of chemo, 25 of rads, one month into tamoxifen. I know from the extent of my cancer when I found it that I am a whisker away from stage 4, and I have worked that out for myself. I have not spoken to my oncologist or surgeon about it, and I don’t think I will. In my heart I know that I have today and I try not to go beyond that. I don’t want to hear words that will flatten me; I just have to face today. I know the statistics, and I know the percentages, but of course no one can say where I will fit and I prefer to not ask what my team thinks.
I got halfway through my taxol and became very afraid of even finishing because I felt safe somehow when I was on chemo. Now, I just have to get on with living and hope for the best.
I understand - hang in there xx