Why are the nights so hard

Unfortunately I wouldn't hold my breath on the rest of the family staying in contact. I don't know why, if its my positive attitude so she'll be right or what but pretty much only parents keep in touch, not siblings, although interestingly friends and extended family like Aunties and cousins don't mind checking how you are. Its a strange thing where perhaps the closer family suddenly feels very mortal and if they ignore it and you it wont happen to them? I wonder if I suddenly died during treatment and they got the funeral notification in the mail for a funeral next week would they get the slap up the side of the head they need and have regrets they didn't bother staying in touch? Makes me so darned angry I better shut up and settle down or with my shakes I wont be able to type lol.

This forums great for a sounding board, sorry I have poached your thread to have my whine.

I have read this forum often at midnight or later so flick up a post or even pm members if you want keyboard contact. On face book I am Brenda Irwin with my pic and a stripy fish photo if you or anyone on this forum wishes to friend me. It's not unusual for me to be up till midnight chatting on there either. I'm not a big phone talker unless its my mum or dad most of the time.

If you want to decipher path reports, try googling pathology and then just some small part of the report. It might yield a piece by piece understanding, or you could stick it up on forum and we could compare it with ours and have an idea what it means? Even if you got the tests and they put it on a dvd you could screen shot it to your photo file and upload. My cancer was 2.5cm and looked for all the world like a gold fish.