Thanks for sharing guys. Looks a while since there has been any activity on this topic, but FWIW, I'll add a few thoughts here ...
- be prepared for family and friends to let you down. While they all start out saying 'let us know if there is anything we can do', inevitably when you need help, they will not be around ...
- make sure you look after yourself first. Like they say when you are on a plane, but your own oxygen mask on first, then help children, others, etc ... you are no use to anyone if you don't look after yourself. That is WAY harder said than done, and more than likely you'll fin yourself run down and unwell ... just remember IT IS NOT SELFISH to look after yourself, and if needed, do it ahead of anyone and anything else.
- money issues can be stressful and more than likely you will face financial issues and unplanned costs, cash outgoings, etc. so talk to your bank managere early, put your home loan payments on hold (all banks allow you to do that, you just pay interest only for a while), and get access to ready cash early in the process (i.e access any redraw, cash in investments, etc) ... you can't buy good health, but you can throw everything at it to try and make it better. In the end, it's only money, you can get more, you can't get better health or more time with your loved ones
- look for the "reason" ... while that might soind hippy, whacky and a tad too out there. Almost everything happens for a reason, and while at the time, it may not be obvious, EVERYONE I have ever spoken to that has been through a serious traumatic event has ended up some time years later realising there was a reason.
- and finally, as a bloke, solving things is core, and with all this stuff it is bloody hard to do, so take control where you can, and make sure your loved one is getting the best treatment possible. Do not accept poor service or treatment from doctors or nurses or medical people, demand better, and change specialists, doctors, etc if you have to ... do not be afraid to stand up for your right and the right of your loved one to get the treatment, care, support and help deserved.
Just my $0.02 worth mid battle.
Dean.
