What happens now?

Hi there

i finished active treatment 6 months ago after 16 months. I'm really struggling myself. Like you everyone thinks I should be thrilled that I have beaten cancer and should be back to my old self but I am so far from that it's not funny. I was warned that it would take a good 12 months before I started to feel more like my old self. On a whole, I coped fairly well, with only a few meltdowns (mind you one of those meltdowns lasted for 4 weeks) but I didn't really have the time to digest what was happening to me. It sounds silly but I've only realised who serious this was and how ill I have been once treatment stopped. I miss the staff and the friends I made at the hospital, although I do keep in contact with a couple of people. I still have check ups every 3 months and that just puts in all straight back in my face. I tend to cope by pretending that everything is fine and dandy. As a strategy it has always worked well until now. I don't call it a journey either. For me it is a process. A journey is more of a trip, something I want to go on. I never realised the toll that bc had taken not only on me but everyone around me. Like the rest of the process, it takes time. Take one day at a time and just know that many of us feel the way you do. Hang in there. Karen xox

ps congrats on finishing treatment. It's a good milestone.