Well, What now??

Hi Al

When I asked repeatedly what influenced the unanimous recommendation for chemo my surgeon, medical and radiation oncologists (all at several individual times) all replied with the fact that it was grade 3!

Thinking of you, Dette xxxx

Hi Viv,

Hang in there! I don't know what your diagnosis was but mine seems very similiar. I I had a lumpectomy and 1 node removed which thankfully was clear but because my cancer was a grade 3 and I was receptor positive chemo, radio and hormone treatement were recommended. After your post and your decision I am now confused about what to do. I have my initial radiotherapy appointment tomorrow - a meet and greet. Then on the 19th I have an appointment with the medical oncologist to discuss treatement options. AGGHH! I'm not sure what to do and what advice to take. As others have said so many doctors are offering differing treatements for the same or similiar diagnoses. Do I or don't I??

Good luck and keep posting!

Al xxx

Hi Viv

It pains me to see you so unhappy and worried. I don't know how I would react to not having chemo - initial thought was 'wow wish that was me' and then I am a second guesser so might react as you are. There is no wrong reaction because it is so emotionally ensconced.

A little story for you to ponder. Although going public for my treatment I do have 'chosen' medical  and radiation oncologists. Yesterday the oncologist rang to talk about the situation with my white blood cells and bone marrow and confirm my suspicion that we have to start this week or the chances of success we talked about before are further reduced. He also said "We will be discussing your treatment in our oncology meeting this Wednesday to make sure I have the most up to date ideas and information from other specialists."  I am so grateful of and take heart from that statement and action. 

Perhaps despite you seeing different doctors, there have been similar discussions about your treatment.

Second story: One comment in the meeting the radiation oncologist was "Ignore the experts who had been there, done that and can tell you what should be - that was then, this is you and now!"

Hope this in some way helps and keep talking with those who care. Dettexxx

I think I've written to you on another post so excuse the double up.If you need chemo then your doctors will insist on it.If you don't then they will tell you or offer it to you as an optional extra.It's an awful lot of pain and suffering to go through for 1 or 2% help.Tamoxifen helps you alot more if the cancer is estrogen+ve. You are emotional at the moment because it's a hard decision to make-chemo or not to have chemo-either decision will mess with your head. Trust me,I've had 2 bouts of b cancer and got to make both of those choices.   You will worry for awhile if you've made the right choice but just tell yourself that you have made the best decision for you based on doctor's advice,your research and your gut feeling.Then move forward with no regrets.You are still grieving at the moment for the loss of a body part,life as you knew it,your health and a future old age.You've only had about a month to come to terms with all that.Accept that you are going to be a"cot case"for a little longer- normal reactions Viv.It's over a year for me now and I still feel sad when I look at my chest.For the most part I get on with life but have the odd moment when I feel like a ticking time bomb and don't want to make plans too far ahead. After my first cancer(8yrs ago)it took me about 2yrs to feel confident again,that I might live afterall.I know we are all different but the majority of women will breathe abit easier after that 1yr post diagnosis mammo.Your surgeon will check on you every 3mths so you won't be cast adrift just yet.You'll reclaim your life back bit by bit and that will build your confidence.Going back to work and getting fitted with my prosthesis was the start for me.I am now looking at my life and making big changes -hopefully for the better! Just give yourself time to grieve Viv.

                          luv  Tonya xx

I've been off work for months and I didnt need chemo or radiotherapy, however depending on your job, is depending if u can return to work sooner. I know what u mean about feeling like demanding chemo, however I met heaps of women on here who feel like they were just given chemo for fun. Some doctors give same diagnoses but different treatments. U should feel a little bit better knowing many doctors have told u the same thing, even tho i think it must b hard seeing different dr's all the time... 
U can always get a 2nd opinion, 3rd opinion, 4th opinion... I know a lady who demanded chemo and paid for it out of her own pocket - now she regrets it. but u never know & I know u'll always worry in the back of ur mind, but either way things can happen... Seems to me u may have gotten a good outcome in the end... but i know its still hard..... so my thoughts are with u, as to all the other women on this site.... 

Thank you for your advice. I cant help second guessing myself. The oncologist, which evertime is a different person, tells me I dont need radiation or chemo so I had to go with that advice, he/she/them supposed to be the expert. But I keep hearing of women who have had chemo or radiation with the same diagnosis as mine and I think god am I taking the easy way out here. Maybe I should insist on chemo. I just dont know anything of anything anymore. I hear of women not at work months later. I was back 3 weeks later. I think 'Am I handling this all wrong'. As you can tell I am not v rational at the moment.  So nice to know there are ladies like yourself out there it really is very reassuring. XX

It will get better. It's a total shock to make such life changing decisions and in such a short timeframe. Talk to your local breast care nurse ASAP. She will be your life coach. She can explain details. Keep a notebook. Get the specialists to explain (and explain)  the odds of chemo plus hormone treatment or hormone treatment alone. Why do they recommend this or that for your particular situation?  Write down the answers to read when you are in less shock. My notebook is almost 5 years and invaluable to me. Plus a handy list of drugs, dates and issues for future reference.

Try not to listen to out of date information - stuff even a few years old is out of date. Science is leaping ahead every day. You find that everyone is an expert or wants to tell you a sad/scary story. But you and your story is all that matters. Every cancer situation is different.  This is your road to travel. Yes, cancer throws out all your plans. But you will make new ones and this big detour will be OK.

Take care, hippyviv. You are not alone.

It will get better. It's a total shock to make such life changing decisions and in such a short timeframe. Talk to your local breast care nurse ASAP. She will be your life coach. She can explain details. Keep a notebook. Get the specialists to explain (and explain)  the odds of chemo plus hormone treatment or hormone treatment alone. Why do they recommend this or that for your particular situation?  Write down the answers to read when you are in less shock. My notebook is almost 5 years and invaluable to me. Plus a handy list of drugs, dates and issues for future reference.

Try not to listen to out of date information - stuff even a few years old is out of date. Science is leaping ahead every day. You find that everyone is an expert or wants to tell you a sad/scary story. But you and your story is all that matters. Every cancer situation is different.  This is your road to travel. Yes, cancer throws out all your plans. But you will make new ones and this big detour will be OK.

Take care, hippyviv. You are not alone.