I know what you mean about writing helping you to feel better. Sometimes when you read the words you have written you clarify it all so much more. It helps you to feel calmer and more in control when you see it all there in black and white. Never apologize for what you write on here. We all understand the seesaw of emotions as you struggle to come to grips with the shock of having cancer.
I can tell you from my own experience and reading many other's posts on here that you will get through what you need to. People will help, you just need to let them. I have had the most amazing experiences of people I barely knew helping myself and my family. No matter what the news is on Tuesday, you will feel better because you will know more. That happens again and again on this journey. We worry and then we feel better. Hope that having your husband home will help. Take care. Deanne xxx