Forum Discussion

lanilumps71's avatar
14 years ago

Unraveling!!

Has anyone used the bc psychology service?

Went into shock yesterday, had the worst fight with my partner of four years and now he wants me out! Told me I have to get my stuff out of the house within a week. Never seen that coming!!!

Had my op on Friday and it all went well.. my body is healing but my emotions are a mess! The one person who I thought would be there for me through this has not only been cruel, but hasnt shown me an inch of support since I came back from hospital!

Took me two hours to get dressed this morning.. cant eat food, too ashamed to let my family and friends know what is going on and just dont know how I am going to cope?

36 Replies

  • My breast care nurse had a link to the  physchiatrist service at the Mater in Brisbane.  But I found talking to the counsellor via the cancer council phone line was so helpful I didnt need to follow up the physchiatrist services.  Perhaps they can help you as they did me.   Where are you located? 

    For me, I have found one of the most difficult parts of undergoing the whole "BC journey" is the surrendering of independence and asking for and accepting help.   Whilst I dont know your circumstances, if you can, tell your family. Relationship stuff happens all the time, at the moment you need a bit more support than if it happened a year ago and your family would have supported you then, I think they would want to now. As a mother and sister I would want to know so I could help. Nothing to be ashamed of in needing or asking for help. I am sure that you would extend the same care if you were asked or knew it was needed by a family member or friend.

    Be gentle on yourself.  You are not alone. 

  • My breast care nurse had a link to the  physchiatrist service at the Mater in Brisbane.  But I found talking to the counsellor via the cancer council phone line was so helpful I didnt need to follow up the physchiatrist services.  Perhaps they can help you as they did me.   Where are you located? 

    For me, I have found one of the most difficult parts of undergoing the whole "BC journey" is the surrendering of independence and asking for and accepting help.   Whilst I dont know your circumstances, if you can, tell your family. Relationship stuff happens all the time, at the moment you need a bit more support than if it happened a year ago and your family would have supported you then, I think they would want to now. As a mother and sister I would want to know so I could help. Nothing to be ashamed of in needing or asking for help. I am sure that you would extend the same care if you were asked or knew it was needed by a family member or friend.

    Be gentle on yourself.  You are not alone. 

  • Oh Lani

    That is so sad and so unfair, where is your partners compassion at a time like this and when you need him to step up to the plate for you and be supportive.  I just don't get it sometimes.

    I totally agree with Christine, now is the time to call on your loved ones, family and friends and let them be there for you.  You can't be expected to get through this time on your own, you need love, support and some caring.

    I have always found the BC nurses to be so wonderful and understanding to our needs and they should be able to point you in the right direction and get you some assistance and refer you for psych support if you need it.

    Dont be ashamed, dont do this on your own, reach out for help.  I hope your partner comes around and starts to show some compassion at this time.

    Wishing you luck, keep us informed so we don't worry too much about you luvy. Wish there was more we can do for you but we are here for you as the best we can.

    Big supportive hugs coming you way, take care of yourself.

    Mich xoxo

  • Oh Lani

    That is so sad and so unfair, where is your partners compassion at a time like this and when you need him to step up to the plate for you and be supportive.  I just don't get it sometimes.

    I totally agree with Christine, now is the time to call on your loved ones, family and friends and let them be there for you.  You can't be expected to get through this time on your own, you need love, support and some caring.

    I have always found the BC nurses to be so wonderful and understanding to our needs and they should be able to point you in the right direction and get you some assistance and refer you for psych support if you need it.

    Dont be ashamed, dont do this on your own, reach out for help.  I hope your partner comes around and starts to show some compassion at this time.

    Wishing you luck, keep us informed so we don't worry too much about you luvy. Wish there was more we can do for you but we are here for you as the best we can.

    Big supportive hugs coming you way, take care of yourself.

    Mich xoxo

  • Lani Now is not the time to be proud. Ashamed about what? You have nothing to be ashamed of. You need all the support you can get from family and friends! Tell them and allow them to take care of you.You should not and do not need to be on your own during this difficult time. All the best and get to a place of peace and rest as soon as you can.
  • Hi Lani, I am so sorry you are going through this when you most need support. 

    I contacted my Breast Care nurse and got a referal to a psych who dealt with BC, this was free for six visits if your doctor prescribes it.  Previously I had been to a general psych who didn't seem to 'get it'. Also your BC nurse should be able to put you in contact with social workers who can help you emotionally and with practical issues.

    A big cyber hug, you will get through this, use this site as support and remember you are wonderful and special. x