Triple Negative Breast Cancer

Thank you Yvette, I appreciate you taking the time to respond. I am already beginning to see my child's strength and resilience, as well as my own. We are all very tired and emotional and today is our first day to stop with no appointments and just reflect and prepare. My daughter amazes me each day and I hope that during all of this she realises how strong us girls are and how important it is to keep communicating. 

I am looking forward to having the planning done because then my focus can move into treatment phase, I'm a little bit of a control freak so I need to learn to let go and focus on what I can control.

thanks xxx

Hi Christel

Welcome to the Online Network. Our wonderful members have already mentioned that we are here to support you and answer any questions you may have. We have a Triple Negative online group you may like to join and you may like to check the Triple Negative page out on our website. We also have a section Telling your children.

~ Ann-Marie x

 

Hi Christel:  Sorry about your diagnosis.  I was diagnosed with Stage 2b, TNBC in October 2015.  I am 49 and currently waiting for the results of my genetic testing.  I don't have a family history but my Surgeon referred us for genetic testing because of the Triple Negative result.  I am on the old side so it is unlikely, as a matter of fact QLD health would not cover the tests as my risk was too low (no family history and over 40).  We decided to self fund and proceed with testing based largely on what the result would mean for our ten year old daughter.  

I can relate to how you are feeling about your daughter.  One of the first things I said was how much I hate to have given her this terrible family history with or without the BRCA gene. 

That being said about the bad we may/may have not given our girls, let me tell you the positive I believe I have given my girl as a result of this diagnosis.  I am teaching her strength and perseverance everyday!  I am partially through my chemo, I have seven weekly sessions to go (I am having neoadjuvant chemo and will have surgery followed by radiation when the chemo is complete) and my daughter has been a wonderful help; much more than my teenage boys....  She is so very mature and our relationship is better than ever.  She is a little older than your daughter but you will find a way to comfort her and you'll be surprised how much she can comfort you!  She has learned lessons about superficial things (like hair) and important things (like health).  She is very protective of me and can't stand it when anyone is insensitive.  While I might lament giving her this family history (and I often do) I also realize this is part of her journey too.  She has a mother with cancer and my goal is for her to look back on this time and feel like she is proud of how she handled herself through my treatment.  I know I am already proud of her.  

I hope that helps you in some small way!  Good luck getting your testing completed and treatment plan sorted (I found that is when I was best able to wrap my brain around this mess).

Cheers,

Yvette

Please please forgive me if this seems so horribly insensitive, but I genuinely feel this is something you should put out of your mind. By the time your baby reaches 37 - even 27, the technology and surveillance will have developed even further, just look at how different the chemotherapy experience is now after 20 years, and how far scanning technology has come. 

Because of her family history she WILL know how to self-examine, she WILL get scans, it WILL be detected early, and she WILL have far better treatment than we're getting. Her chances if in the unfortunate case it has been passed on are so good.

This is also a matter of stress becoming an enemy. It is something that could tear you apart if you let it and make everything so much worse for yourself. Stressing over problems that may not even exist, which if they did you could not change, is not going to achieve anything.

Control the things you can control. When she's 18 ask her if she'd like to be genetically tested. If it's positive, you'll know to be on higher alert. It's the best you can do. And it is NOT your fault.

Focus on yourself, your treatment, your coping. That is the best possible thing you can do for her right now.

Hi Christel, Welcome to the site, such a shock all of us have had to hear. I'm also had triple negative bc. I'm older (65), I can understand your concerns but I have read so much and although I'm no expert I know you will be OK. I'm about half way through the treatment and sure it's not easy but everyone is different. One day at a time is so necessary and keep those positive pants on! Good luck with all the treatment and please keep posting on the site.

Anne-Marie

Hi Christel, & welcome to a site we all wish wasn't needed, ??. You'll find lots of support here. It's a good place to ask questions, especially about others experiences, & a great, safe place to vent or let off steam. 

I can't pretend to understand your feelings in regard to your daughter, I don't have any children. As you say, all we can do is take it one day at a time. 

We all travel a slightly different path, and react differently to treatment. 

Take care, Lyn