Hi Everyone, It has been an extremely emotional week for both myself, my husband and my family. On Thursday 16th June 2011 I received the news from my GP that I have breast cancer (stage 2 - high grade). This news was completely unexpected and I went completely numb.... it honestly felt like a bad dream. A 2cm lump was found in my right breast with 3 other smaller cancers also found in the same breast (ranging from 0.6cm to 1.2cm in size). My surgeon (Dr Willsher at Mount Hospital in Perth) decided to perform a mastectomy on my right breast. At this stage it looks as though my lymph weren't affected (although he did take 4 nodes that the cancer was draining to). I found out all the pathology reports this coming Thursday - to tell you the truth it couldn't come quick enough. I am so anxious about it. I also have to start 4 months of chemo (under Prof Arlene Chan) which I am also very anxious about. I know I should just focus on getting better and cancer free but I am petrified of it returning down the track. I am worried that for the next few years at least I will constantly feel like a ticking time bomb and it makes me so incredibly emotional/distraught. I have a wonderful family, my husband is amazing and my 2 daughters (aged 2 years and 5 years) are my everything. I have to make sure that I stay fit and healthy for the rest of my life and I plan on being around until I am at least 88!! I would greatly appreciate any advice, tips, suggestions you may have to help me and my family through this incredibly tough time. It is just so unsettling and I feel sick just thinking about it. I am sure all of these emotions are normal but I still have so much of my life to live. Looking forward to hearing from you x

So sorry to read that another lovely young woman like yourself has to go through this dreadful journey.Leonie and I have been around twice on this ride. My first bout was 8yrs ago whenI had a lumpectomy,full node clearance and radiation.It came back in the same breast last year so had a mastectomy and chemo.I've just passed my one year now but I still feel like a ticking time bomb as you described.Last time it took me about 2yrs to feel confident so what you are feeling now is quite normal.Waiting for path results does your head in.Try any distraction and a glass of red helps(but not with ur painkillers).In the cancer world I am considered lucky because my lymph nodes were all clear.This is what we all hope for.It is such a frightening time for you but your husband and family will love and support you.You'll get through it cos you have to and we are here whenever you need to talk or vent. Tonya xx

emma you need to stay postive and strong to get through this and you will with the love and support from youre family it will be trying time but remember that ever day is a new one, lt will be my if yera in the 16 july since this happened to me , l have a loving supportive hubby and teenage 19 17 15 year olds,it hit us all really hard. l stayed focues on getting better after op and had support from my aunty {both my parents have passed away }she came and lived with us for several week during after op this helped agreat deal, you need to make sure you ask questions if not sure and believe me even the silly questions are real questions, ask to speak to a social worker at the hospital and see if they heve this book for young children about cancer it explains it nicely to them, if youre offered any help take it , l found that at my appointments dr chemo radation etc alwaly take someone they are second ears , and if not sure ask again, you take care and stay postive , take one day at atime xxx robyn please feel free to ask anything will be hear for you

Hi Emma, I too was diagnosed with aggressive cancer (grade 3) coming up 7 years ago this year. I am totally hearing you in what you are saying about the emotional distress that you are having right now. I know the feeling about being here to see your children grow up (my boys were 5 months old and 3 at the time of my diagnosis) and the fear of it returning again down the track, but from my own personal experience I just want to say to you to just take day by day at the moment, and have faith in your professional medical team that you have because they are going to advise you what is going to be the best way to treat you. Try not to put pressure on yourself with any expectations because right now it has to be all about you and I'm sure your family and friends are going to rally around you and give you all the support you need, as well as people in this on line network. Emma hang in there darl and try and stay as positive as you can between now and Thursday............. and try to not think too much about it . I will be thinking of you over the next few days. Happy to share my personal experience with you at any time. Tracy xo

A very big thank you to the ladies who have responded (so far) - it is wonderful knowing that I am not alone. I am having a pretty good day (have been distracted for most of it which is nice) and a friend just dropped around dinner and dessert :) I was wondering if anyone has any feedback / reviews about the Gawler Retreat in Victoria (Yarra Valley). A colleague of my husband has recommended it when his wife was battling breast cancer. We are definitely going to give it a go although are unsure if we should do it before or after Chemo - any recommendations? So much to think about but trying not to let this consume me if you know what I mean. I feel really lucky to have your support on here :) xx

hi emma, how can u think straight after getting the diagnosis. yes you do go numb with disbelief. " how will i get through this? " " will i still be alive in 6 months?" " how will i face people with no hair? " ( infact mine thinned and i did not lose it completely) this went through my head. etc i am glad you have support from your family, husband, friends. take it day by day.. was advice i got early on. it seemed to make sense. you go through lots of emotions.get information and make informed choice based on it and advice from health professionals, but also listen to your own body. i had stage two, early breast cancer. i had a (R) lumpectomy,axillary clearance, radiation and chemo in 1998, and a (L) lumpectomy, sentinel node biopsy and radiation in 2003. i was 42, and am now 55. my children were 10 and 14. they are now 27 and 23. good luck with it all. OOXX

This is all new to me....help! | BCNA Online Network

17 Replies

louiseg
Member
15 years ago
Hi Emma

How did the appointment with Peter go? Did you find out your pathology results? I hope they were good.....Just one thing that i thought of, when I got my pathology results from Peter he gave me the idea that I may not need chemo but may have to have my ovaries removed. When I saw Arlene, she said that my ovaries would be left alone and I would have to have chemo....SO just wait until you have spoken to both of them before you really know what is going on :)

Keep in touch,

Louise
Emma_T
Member
15 years ago
Thank you so very much Josie :) I have had a fantastic couple of days although am a little anxious tonight. I am meeting with my surgeon tomorrow to find out the pathology results. Please pray for the best outcome posssible. I really don't know what he is going to say but I am feeling positive it will be good. I will be starting Chemo is just under a fortnight which I am also anxious / nervous about but I know I have to do it to move forward. Thanks again for your inspirational and encouraging posts xxxx
w_w_w_dette
Member
15 years ago
Hi Emma

I'm so pleased that you are being happily distracted during your wait time - definitely something that helped me. I also agree and thank Sonia for her "You can do it" attitude and comments on this site, I always look forward to reading them!

Thanks for the thinking about my first chemo session on Monday - it didn't happen!! I'm just coming to terms with that know and will write a blog shortly - will I know help.

All the best for tomorrow Emma. I actually remember that day in my experience well - my surgeon had her hands full with me, my husband, our three oler children and two partners!!! She had to get a couple more chairs but was fantastic and took the opportunity to talk to them about how and how long they would need to support me before I would be back to anywhere near 'normal' mentally and emotionally.

Again all the best, Dette xxxx
Kellie0765
Member
15 years ago
I know exactly how Emma feels, I was diagnosed on June 21 with IDC grade 3, 4cm with lesions, and after some tests am seeing my onco today. I am a nervous wreck. But reading your comment on Emma's plight re your own experience has given me a faint hope of a future for myself. Thank you Tracy..
Emma_T
Member
15 years ago
Thank you so very much for all of your wonderful messages. I have had a fantastic couple of days (no tears!!) with my lovely family and friends distracting me and taking me to lunch, movies, shopping :) I am nervous about receiving the pathology results on Thursday but I am keeping myself nice and busy!

Louise, it is lovely to know you are also under Dr Willsher and Prof Chan - I have been very happy thus far and hope the wonderful care continues. Thank you also for the recommendation of Tony Connell in Subiaco. I am definitely looking at a reconstruction down the track :)

Viv, thank you for your kind words also. I am really loving this site - the ladies are so wonderful, very inspiring and so very positive which is just what we both need.

Sonia, your subject says it all..... 'You can do it'!!! I loved it :) Am feeling very very positive and have had a great couple of days!

Dette - I really hope your first Chemo session went well and you aren't feeling too unwell.

xxxxxxxx
Emma_T
Member
15 years ago
Thank you so very much for all of your wonderful messages. I have had a fantastic couple of days (no tears!!) with my lovely family and friends distracting me and taking me to lunch, movies, shopping :) I am nervous about receiving the pathology results on Thursday but I am keeping myself nice and busy!

Louise, it is lovely to know you are also under Dr Willsher and Prof Chan - I have been very happy thus far and hope the wonderful care continues. Thank you also for the recommendation of Tony Connell in Subiaco. I am definitely looking at a reconstruction down the track :)

Viv, thank you for your kind words also. I am really loving this site - the ladies are so wonderful, very inspiring and so very positive which is just what we both need.

Sonia, your subject says it all..... 'You can do it'!!! I loved it :) Am feeling very very positive and have had a great couple of days!

Dette - I really hope your first Chemo session went well and you aren't feeling too unwell.

xxxxxxxx
louiseg
Member
15 years ago
Hi Emma

I'm in Perth too and under the care of Dr Willsher and Prof Chan! I first had a mastectomy (age 35) in 2003 but didn't need any chemo or radiation as it was all DCIS (9cm area!!). I was diagnosed again in July 2010 (age 43) and once again had a mastectomy and this time needed chemo. My tumour was 2.5cm and I also had some more DCIS but no lymph nodes were involved.

Arlene is lovely and I'm sure she will explain everything to you. Make sure that you use your anti-nausea meds early when you are having chemo though! It is easier to prevent nausea than to get rid of it!! Chemo is not fun but it is do-able.

It feels like such a shock and a real roller-coaster ride when you are going through BC. I think sometimes it is easier for us though than our families and loved ones - we just follow the doctors orders and try not to worry too much but the loved ones really don't know what is going on and they do worry about us constantly.

Keep your chin up and keep fighting - you can win this battle :) If you want to ask any questions, this is the place to do it. You will find loads of wonderful women on here with great knowledge of all things breast cancer!

Incidentally, are you having a reconstruction or haven't you thought about that yet? I used Tony Connell in Subi (I know Peter normally recommends him to his patients) - he's great and I thoroughly recommend him.

Anyway, keep in touch,

Louise x
hippyviv
Member
15 years ago
Hi Emma. i was diagnosed in April this year. I too live in Perth. I had a mastectomy and sentinal node biopsy which came back negative. I have been told I dont need radiation or chemo as my ca was only grade 1. I am not so sure about the chemo tho. My oncologist said there was only a 1.8% chance it would help me and it was not worth it for peace of mind's sake. I have to take him at his word here, he is the expert. I am now feeling very emotional now. Dealing with the emotional fall out of what has happened. I too am scared and feel like a ticking time bomb and I am not sure if I should insist on chemo for the 1.8% "peace of mind". But I wont , I will take my oncologists advice on that one . Things get better with time, I know this to be true. I expect to be on this site in 10 years giving feedback to others. I find it heartbreaking though that every day there is someone new like yourself that has been diagnosed. I am truly sorry this has happened to you Emma and do keep on this site for reassurance and advice. The women on here are AMAZING. Love and good thoughts and positive vibes to you, Viv
pink-e
Member
15 years ago
happylittlevegi
Member
15 years ago
Hi Emma

I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Your lucky to have such a supportive family.

Being on this website helped me a lot in the begininning. I was 32 when I was diagnosed Sep 2009. I still remember that day, I felt sick and completely numb. I had stage 2b (almost stage 3) high grade invasive ductal carcinoma. Chemo first, two surgeries, axillery clearence (5 out of 18 lymph nodes were involved) and I just finished 6 & 1/2wks of radiation! It's an emotional journey to say the least and still is.

Its true about cancer being a club you've been forced into but there IS light at the end of the tunnel. There will come a day when the treatment will end and you will find yourself in a completely different place to when you first started.

You need to be true to yourself and your family/friends. If your not up for visitors, say so. If you need help, be specific and ask for it. Take each day as it comes. You dont need to be strong for everyone else. If your having a sad day cry, it makes you feel better and releases toxins :)

I think the worst part is the emotional/mental turmoil you go through before starting any of the treatment. The fear of the unknown is overwhelming, but you can and WILL finish it. It WILL come to an end and knowing that helped me immensly. A statistic also kept me going...86% of women survive breast cancer and you WILL be one of them.

Eat well, drink plenty of water and take care of you!

All the best in your journey, I look forward to reading up on how your going.

Take care

Sonia xoxo