Hi @viking1,
You are in no way a failure. Getting through this stuff without going batty is an achievment in itself, You need down time to process what's just happened to you and get ready for the next phase.
I didn't really get the problem until after rads finished. When life returned to normal and all the mundane everyday things continued, I did get a big "what the hell now."voice in my head.
I think we spend so much energy just getting to the next goal post during treatment that when its done you feel a little lost. You know like surely I am meant to do something bigger, better, different with my life after that. Some people do and some don't. It does pass and I try to have more appreciation for the fact that my life has actually gone back to normal (well pretty close anyway). I just take a little more time to appreciate the moments these days and don't sweat the small stuff. Keep talking to everyone here and don't be afraid to ask for help from a professional if you need to. In the meantime Netflix, wine and TimTams are perfectly acceptable.
XOXO
