The Show

So me and hubby went off to the Perth show today for a look around. It was 5 years ago since the last time we'd ventured up there and I can't say it's changed much. I did however come away with a box of Crispy Creme donuts, a bag of cheese and hubby got some wine. The highlight of the day however had to the train journey home from Perth. I sat down on the train clutching my box of donuts, and whispering to them lovingly ( think Gollum from The Hobbit) when a woman got on and sat opposite us. She was early thirties, blonde, kind pretty but totally wasted! She gets her phone out starts peering at it the way all drunk people do, she's trying to get the radio on it to work but all she gets is very loud static. Giving up on that, she puts it away, starts sighing and huffing to herself but really loudly. Next she starts playing with her belly button ring, which gives me the boak ( that's scottish for vomit by the way). Then she decides to open a can of lemonade, she goes to take a drink and misses her mouth completely and pours it down her front. After that she decides to put some foundation on her face......not the best idea when drunk and on a moving train, so the make up is applied and I'm actually impressed that it's not too bad apart from a brown streak across her nose. After that she starts talking to my hubby....completely ignore me mind you, I try joining in the convo but she doesn't even look at me! Eventually we get to her stop, I say to her "this is your stop" but she ignores me and sits there, so then hubby says "this is your stop" and she smiles and says " oh thank you!" Gets up and staggers to the door, unfortunately she was trying to get out the wrong door, so I tell her " you need to use the door that goes on to the platform, not the track", she jumps back from the still closed door As is she had only just noticed, turns around and staggers off onto the platform! By this time I was nearly wetting myself trying not to laugh! Hubby turns round and says " well it looks like I've still got it" and we both burst out laughing! It did make me think though about some of my capers from my youth, mind you you'd never have seen me getting on public transport drunk........well....