The road ahead

Hi there Jennywren - I won't ask how you are as it is obvious that you are scared shitless (excuse the "real speak" I tend to be that way) about how to face this new journey in your life, how to cope and how to relate to others.

First up, I heartily agree with Di's advice on ordering your "My Journey" kit.  You will find this to be a wonderful source of knowledge and it includes a DVD that you and your family can sit and watch together.  It will give them a better insight as to what you are going through.

How old are your children?  It is important not to shut them out .... give them as much knowledge as you think their ages can cope with.  You will be surprised as to their levels of understanding.

And there's more ..... stop playing the blame game.  Don't live in the past, in the world of "what-if" .... it won't do you any good.  From now on you have to turn negatives into positives and look to the future.  I don't mean to be harsh, just realistic.

We all go through this gamut of emotions -- I had a lump explored in Dec 2009, got the results (malignant tumor) on Jan 13th 2010 and had a mastectomy and lymph node removal on 28th Jan.  I was offered lumpectomy and partial node removal or mastectomy + complete node removal.  I opted for the latter - at 62 it was the choice that suited me .... don't need it, get rid of it.  That fortnight between diagnosis and surgery saw so many mood swings .... anger (why me?), tears, fears, then logic set in -   I didn't have time for this crap so I'm going to beat it!!!  The Power of Positive Thinking was a phrase my Mum often quoted so I took her advice. I lost her two years previously but I know she is still there supporting me.

I was fortunate in as much as the cancer was contained in the breast and hadn't travelled elsewhere, so It wasn't necrssary for me to have chemo or radiotherapy.  I am on Arimidex for 5 years, with a 3% chance it may reappear.  I recently had my 12 month check up and its all clear .... so that is step one on my journey.

Of course you are frightened and uncertain - you wouldn't be human if you were devoid of these feelings.  Share them with your family and close friends, don't bottle them up inside and surround yourself  with positive people.

If you are in doubt or don't understand what is happening ... ask (or demand) explanations.  Sometimes the medical profession (unintentionally) get a bit bogged down discussing procedures so don't feel bad asking for a "please explain".  One tip is to take someone with you to every appointment .... there will be things you won't absorb for obvious reasons so a spare pair of ears is always handy.

Now you have come on line you have another support group you can rely on.  We have all been where you are in some shape or form .... and you are now part of our extended family.  Come and chat to us any time, share your feelings, ask questions, chuck a tantrum - whatever you  want!!!

Keep us in the loop with what is happening, we are with you every step of the way.  Most importantly - take care of yourself, YOU are your number one priority.

Cheers .... Shirl