The last illusion of control dissolves
My life travels are always imposed on. From ex-fiances to university bureaucracy, years of my life have been wasted by other people. Being about others has left me a 31 year old with no degree, asset...
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Thank you Natalie,
It's the confrontation of time and mortality. I keep trying to console myself with "It's just another year" because with any luck... a lot of luck... that's all it will be until I can get on with a normal-ish life.
But my heart doesn't want to listen. It's another year, yet another year, of no university, no work, no purpose. If everything turned the sourest it could in a moment, there wouldn't be a hole left anywhere I've been, not even a mark. As time goes on "just another year" is getting harder and harder to be okay with.
If there are any powers that be, they certainly aren't keen on me. I almost dread the minute I hear the words "cancer free" because I'm sure the universe will deem it time to hit me with a bus or something, haha.
Enough moping and pouring my heart out I think. Time to get productive.
I'm really happy to hear your battles are winding down, just six month check-ups to go?