The Great Race.....

Today is... Scan day... It's a race in case you weren't sure so I have arrived dressed in Decjuba but casual and with flats .. The start is signalled as I arrive at the hospital and ask for directions to private imaging. I am directed to follow another guy who is also heading there... Too slow ,I get ahead of him and like a mad woman on a true ikea style mission i follow the blue line for ages till I reach the destination..... Checkpoint 1. I check in at reception and am welcomed as an official radiology patient.. Well they dont say that but I'm determined to make light of this time and so in my head I have given myself this title.. Phew a good nights sleep and back into it tomorrow I guess... Oh no sorry that's " The Great Race". Ahhh Tv has a show for everything. Ok : phase 2 I am greeted by a jolly looking lady in nurses attire who delivers a milkshake of water.. Or so I think.. Actually she tells me its going to taste something like ouzo and has a strange looking bottle of orange cordial in her hands.. I take a sip , not my usual morning choice if I had one but today I will go along for the ride also I can't say I have ever tasted Ouzo so in reality I'm not sure if its good or bad anyway. No cordial required i should be able to nail this.... She tells me the clock is on.. It's 9.15 and I have till 10am to finish the ouzo... World record... I am done by 9.50... Not sure if that's good or bad but I didn't want to be forcing it down with a minute to spare.. Surely this will get me some sort of pass or voucher to jump the next step ?? Right so the "drink this in under 45 and you're right" thing is not the whole truth.. As swiftly as a triathlete between swim and bike i am changed from Decjuba casuals to hospital whites , Im so happy with my clothing choices today thinking i have blitzed the changeover I barely notice that the jolly woman has produced another ouzo milkshake!! Shoot ... Have I trained enough for this? Oh well down it goes as she tells me metallic tastes, hot flushes and a feeling of having wet yourself when you haven't are all normal when the dye they will be putting in goes through. Great! Clearly this is a challenge because the bloke sitting outside as I go in says "good luck" . I thank him politely but as a fellow competitor I am sure he is just doing the small talk thing to put me off my game. Never mind I march directly to the table and "jolly woman" tells me the right side cannula she put in earlier is not working so we go for the even up and insert one into the left arm. This stage of the race is all about precision timing. I am lying on my back hooked up to the injection which is behind me.. Slowly they will feed me into the donut style CT machine. At this point hands above my head and arms and legs straight I am at full stretch.. Hilariously I remember my childhood gymnastics days and extend that stretch a little with pointed toes and ballet hands.. This is only countered when the time comes to get off the table and the nurse needs to give me a hand.. Oh well for a minute there... I was a great gymnast!! The stage is complete, I managed to hold my breath for the appropriate amount of time while they took the shots.. Must say though it was a longer time that I expected... Note to self, practice holding your breath!! Not as easy as it sounds.. I have cleared the checkpoint and return to get changed.. Ooooops, Decjuba baby wool with skinny sleeve now not looking like such a great option as I have my arm bandaged and it doesn't fit.... Not to worry I have a trusty white basic on underneath and am able to create a one armed cape style arrangement that will do till the next checkpoint.. Walnut slip on shoes have been a brilliant choice and Decjuba jersey pants are also perfect for this event. Stage 3. I arrive early at the Nuclear Medicine area where I will be prepped for the final challenge.. A bone scan! This place is seriously underground.. I'm talking cavelike with lights. I have time to go over my training and practice that holding breath/ deep breathing thing.. OMG. Two of the doggiest looking characters have just arrived. Seriously there guys are straight our of "Sons of Anarchy" motorcycle club and don't look as polished!! Yikes I have got some stiff opposition in stage 3.. I thought this was a weight for age race.. Surely there is some sort of handicapping system to even out the field?? The Prada bag is drawn a little closer .. Hmmm may rethink bringing that next time. Ok I'm all out of wise cracks , just trying not to stare but making out the prison tatts is a time passer.. I can't even work out what everyone is doing here but there is a lot of people who must have something going on.. Ooohhhhh just saw that one of the tatts is a date.. Have I broken some sort of secret code?? Ahhhh clearly these guys are another plant to throw me.. Wow this hospital is good! Ok I'm just going to concentrate now.. Hmmmm wondering whats happening at Decjuba? Also I really think they could pump some music through these places. I don't think they will be winning any workplace awards in the coming months. All the staff are friendly but I don't see them getting much in the way of creature comforts.. The hummm of the water cooler is all I can hear at the moment.. Do you think hooking up the iPad to Pandora would upset the crowd? I'm going to say yes at this stage because I don't have any ACDC stations plugged in and don't want to rattle the Sons of Anarchy boys with Bruno Mars or worse maybe Michael Bubl'e ha ha but next time.. Seriously I'm cranking the music. Thank goodness I am called for my radio active injection.. These guys are collectively about 12 years old but nice enough.. They keep asking if I have any existing problems with my bones? I am cautious to answer as in reality I don't think I do other than the left over woes of 6 years skiing for fun and a few drunken falls over the years. All others I am putting down to wear and tear...I say No. So That's it ...a really strange injection like I've never seen in a steel case thing and I'm off .. Come back in 3hours for the scan ? Great, time to run a few jobs.. I'm escaping...