The girls are gone

It's a tricky one I think .....I have had the benefit of working with all sorts of reconstructions for breast cancer patients over 7 years so I have seen the whole spectrum . I guess my perspective was to deal with the cancer first then let my body heal from that and the ensuing treatments . Any reconstructive process is big surgery. I don't have enough fat on my tummy for a tram or diep and have had a hernia 2 years ago so they wouldn't go there . The lat Doris suit some people and can look great but bc I do so much yoga which is my passion lat Dorsi is a really important muscle so that takes that off the list . So I'm left at this stage with ex panders and implants unless this BRAVA technique really gets off the ground which looks very promising . So in the meantime I just accept my scars as part of my life story ...like my stretch marks from my babies and the one on my leg where I fell off the monkey bars as a kid , and the lines on my face from laughing and smiling . I need to get some chicken fillet prostheses and a decent bra just to wear when the mood takes me but for the moment I'm just concentrating on getting over the surgery and chemo ( don't need radio !) I had a bit of a grief and sadness initially about losing them but I figured they had done me proud , I fed all my boys for a year each , and were in fact now trying to kill me !! So bye bye And no more mammograms :))) I still get the occasional sadness but it's tied up with so much other stuff sometimes it's hard to know what's what ! Mostly I think it's being faced with your own mortality at an age you never expected to be ...I assumed I would live into my 90's because I've always been so well ...and my plan is to do just that . Which is why I call them my Granny Scars :)) it's early days for you Melissa ...I'm sure you will find as I have hardly anyone even notices ...that's the beauty of symmetry ...you just will be looking "athletic " ...not a bad look really ! And to be honest if you ask 10 of your closest friends what they are most self conscious about , I bet each of them will tell you something you have never ever even noticed. What funny creatures we are . You are still Melissa and all any one who cares about you wants you to be healthy number one every time . So to cut a really long response short I remain very undecided at this point about reconstruction ...I'm thinking a fab overseas holiday might be up the list first ! I have seen women who waited 5-10 years so no urgency and who knows what they'll be able to do then ! But it's a very individual and personal decision based on your own life and circumstance . It's only a decision you can make for YOU not to please other people . The psyche I see at the breast unit sent me an interesting study I could forward to you if you're interested . In the meanwhile just give yourself over to the healing from this surgery before the next steps in your plan become clearer...take special care xx Karen