The chronicles of juggling chemo with a new job
I interviewed for a new job late last year when I was diagnosed and had my surgery - I started the new role and worked all through January to try and get some leave accumulated, so have to work as much as possible through my chemo treatments. My balancing act has now begun....
14 Feb – back to work – feels surreal, tiring, but I am glad I have something else to focus on. Its so funny how people react when they don’t know how to respond to someone being ill. One person even backed away like I was contagious. Sigh...
19 Feb – why is it that whenever you tell someone about chemo treatments, more often than not they tell you of their experience of someone they know, usually culminating with ‘they didn’t survive it’ or ‘I watched them struggle for years’….. seriously? Throw me a friggin bone here people, I am looking for good news stories!
22 Feb – good day – received news that there were no secondary cancer detected from my tests! Yay - I went into work late and they had a cake waiting for a morning tea for me. Very good day.
As I have now hit the nadir part of my first chemo I also found out that I was 0.6 wbc which is low but still travelling ok. All I have to do now is keep healthy until next Thursday (round 2).
23 Feb – today my hair fell out – just like that. At work in a meeting with my boss and my fringe just fell onto the table. Silently we stared at it and said not a word….. ‘Ill just get that I said’ quickly swept it into my pocket. Time to wear scarves and wig as I now look like a bad imitation of a Benedictine monk.
24 Feb – a full on day at work – I attempted three forms of lunch but was unable to swallow anything. I ended up buying an ice block on the way home and then gorged myself at dinner time! Bizarre – everything tastes so weird. I made the mistake of saying ‘life’s too short’ as a throw away line and everyone in the meeting went silent….. made mental note to self that I reflect before I say that again so flippantly.
25 Feb – conducted interviews all day and work donning my wig which is named (when I bought it) Faith…. Loads of comments about how it looks better than my original hair, and I was even told I looked ‘normal’, which I am taking in a ‘glass half full’ attitude, although I quietly decided no matter what happens with my hair it is indeed time for a change when it grows back – I didn’t realise how unpopular my old hairstyle was.
26 Feb – my wounds have broken open again and started to bleed… not this again please! Went to the clinic and the nurses redressed them saying that this is very common…. Hmmm…
Another crazy day, started before everyone and finished after they all went home because I am so conscious there is so much to do before I go off next week for chemo. Was told today by a colleague how everyone in the office is so surprised I am handling it all (chemo) so well…. Little do they know I come home and fall apart.
27 Feb – plagued by a persistent weird smell…. I showered, then showered again. Changed the sheets, cleaned the house through…still there. Its kind of cloyingly sweet, yet rotten as well…. Horrid. I have decided it is me as I keep asking my children if they can smell anything and they assure me they cant. Will add funny smell, rather than ‘acting crazy’ to the list of symptoms.
