Forum Discussion
The beginning
On Wednesday, 11th November, I got my diagnosis. I was blindsided. I had convinced myself that the extensive bruising from a core biopsy was as bad as things were going to get. Lol.
Telling my loved ones has been the only tears, so far. I feel guilty that they are hurt because of me. And there's nothing I can do to change it.
I have two daughters that are still in primary school. We are taking a "need to know" position with them until such time as an alternative is necessary.
I don't know anyone with cancer. No friends, no family, not any passing acquaintances. I feel pretty bloody alone.
I also feel like a bit of a drama queen. My prognosis is very good. I am fortunate that I have an excellent surgeon; private insurance; flexible employment and boundless support. So why do I feel SOOOO bad?????
I am scheduled for a lumpectomy on Tuesday morning. I am already anxious, not over surgery, but over the juggling act associated. Who will take the girls to school? Will traffic be heavy at that time of day? Should I pre-cook dinner for the night I'm away? Maybe my brain is just trying to shift focus.
13 Replies
The best of luck KJ with your operation. I had my lumpectomy on 15th July, and am nearly though treatment. You will get though. Have you got someone to pick up the slack at home? My advice is Delegate, except all help, rest and look after yourself. Ask the doctor to give you some medication to help you sleep. It will help rest your mind and you will feel stronger to cope with each day. My best wishes and support goes out to you.
Kim
Thank you. I have obviously made a wise decision to join this community. The support and kindness that I have been afforded already will be held close to my heart in the coming days.
Thank you Ann-Marie. I am astonished by the immediate support I received from this community. I'm glad that I decided to join. I'm feeling very grateful right now
Thanks for the support - as ungrateful as it sounds, the support that I have got on this forum in just a couple of days has put a new perspective on things.
thank you again, wishing you luck!
I'm so sorry to hear that a mastectomy is likely for you. Thank you for taking the time to offer me words of support when you have your own challenges ahead. I will think of you and I wish you love and kindness in your coming months xo
Thank you for your kind words. I can't pretend that I'm not anxious and today's SLN location was a bit of a reality check. But I am staying focused on the positive and trying to keep life as normal as possible!
Hi KJ and welcome to the site.
Sending much love to you as you try and come to terms with your diagnosis. No two people are the same, however you will find lots of useful, shared experiences are talked about here and we hope they make you feel less alone.
This is about you now, KJ. It sounds as if you are a kind and supportive soul to others - time to be the same for yourself. SO important. Your feelings of fear are real and should not be diminished. Yes, it's good to feel blessed by the good things going for us, but it's also important to acknowledge (and in doing so, allow ourselves to feel, then let go of) the scarier, more negative feelings. We all have them.
Logistics will be hard, for sure, Your op, then recovery will change things around the house, so everyone will need to adjust, including your kids (who are much more tuned in and resilient than we ever give them credit for). I hope you can find a way to let go of expecting the normal routine to continue - it's about finding a new way (for now, anyway) that keeps things going, but that nurtures you as well. A quick tip - don't attempt too much too early with the relevant arm after your lumpectomy, such as carrying things, shopping, cooking, housework etc. Lymphodema is a real risk here if you're having nodes removed and you want to avoid that for sure.
Ask anything else you like, KJ, and keep popping in to read posts or share your progress. In this space, it is all about you and what you need, and we all get it.
Much love,
NicD
Hi K.J,
Welcome to the Online Network. My name is Ann-Marie and I am the Online Community Coordinator at BCNA.
This is a place where you won't feel so alone. As you can already see we are here to support you. Like the ladies have mentioned be kind to yourself, one day at a time.
~ Ann-Marie x
Hi BC friend!
So sorry to hear and read your story as you begin this journey. You have just brought back so many memories of what I went through back in September/October which are similar to yours. I, unfortunately, now have more hurdles to jump over but despite all the emotions and tears I am remaining positive and taking one day at a time. My big piece of advice to you is if you can, is to have rewarding therapy sessions where you treat yourself, whether it is pampering (facial, manicure, etc), drinking expensive wine, getting away for a few days to a new scenery, walking, etc. All these things are certainly helping me to get through this journey.
Take care and good luck with everything.
Huge hugs from the west.
Sue
This post brings me right back to July 31st when I was diagnosed. Telling my kids and loved ones was awful and masses of tears
You have found the right place to chat, get support and loads of info.I am so sorry that you had to find this forum though.
Take one day at a time, try not to let your thoughts run wild ( I'm still trying not to do that)
breast cancer is a wild but no fun ride. You will get through it though, I know people keep telling me that anyway and so far I have.
Sending you supportive vibes
