Forum Discussion

kellys's avatar
kellys
Member
14 years ago

Tests and Surgery

After my diagnosis I went on to have a whole body CT and bone scan. After all....the first thing you want to know is that the cancer hasn't spread right? Well I didn't want to know. I didn't want there to be any chance of more bad news.
My CT scan was clear. Liver, lungs, pelvis - clear. But our hearts broke again when there was a "shadow on the bone scan". How the hell could that be possible? That I could possibly have bone metasteses. I could not comprehend what I was being told. All I could think about was how I felt as though my body has let me down. I felt ripped off and robbed of a future life with my family. How could this be right. My surgeon sent me off for a PET scan, saying that sometimes these shadows show up on the bone scan and they don't on the PET, meaning they may be from an old injury. I was hopeful. Afterall I had played velleyball and waterskiied for years. Quite possibly I had injured a rib at some stage. Again we recieved bad news. I was not coping at all. The PET had confirmed the shadow on the bone scan on my rib as well as another tiny spot on my sternum. All I could think about for days was a furture I was not going to have. A shortened life. One where my husband would not have me as a wife, or my daughter have me as a mother. How could this be happening?Despite all this, the show goes on right? Surgery was scheduled for the week before Christmas. I had a lumpectomy and Lvl II axillary disection. Both lumps were clearly removed and 3/25 nodes were positive for IDC.
After the surgery we did manage to have a great christmas and even went away for a couple of weeks with family. It was so nice to forget about it all and enjoy time with family and friends. Coming home was strange... knowing that this year was going to be so different from any I had ever imagined. 

8 Replies

  • Amy's avatar
    Amy
    Member
    14 years ago

    Yes, definitely ask for help when you need it and accept it when it is offered.  I found this quite difficult at first.  My Mum and Dad came and stayed with me after my operation and while I was having radiation.  I couldn't have coped without their help.  Friends also made meals for me and my husband was a rock. I feel bad as I often take things out on him when I am stressed and he has been nothing but loving and understanding.  I guess we lash out at those that are closest to us.  Like I said though, I am feeling pretty good right now so trying to live in the moment.  Good luck with everything and keep us up to date with what's happening.  Amy x

  • TonyaM's avatar
    TonyaM
    Member
    14 years ago

      As I look at your lovely pic with your gorgeous baby,I too,find your diagnosis hard to believe.You must be still shell shocked and feel you are in some sort of nightmare.It's a very normal reaction to feel that your body has let you down. I would go over and over in my head as to what I might have eaten/done to have caused breast cancer.Afterall,it wasn't in the family and I had been leading a fairly healthy life.I have read so many cancer books but in the end bc just seems so random. Amanda,Amy and Joy are such strong,informed women-they are our amazing pink sisters.They radiate hope and calm through cyberspace so take some comfort in their wise words.You are in my thoughts and prayers tonight.

                                          Tonya xx

  • kellys's avatar
    kellys
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Amy, I have been back and read some of your blog. My heart breaks, how can this happen. Your advice about "feeling well and keeping that normality" are definitely what I am trying to concentrate on. My little girl is so demanding of my time, as she should be at 14mnths that sometimes it all gets a bit overwhelming, but I spose i have to try not to be a hero & make sure i get help when I need it. I am also a radiation therapist by profession so have lived in this world as carer and health professional for many years, yet here i am as a patient and it is so odd, so surreal to be here. Thankyou for replying to my post, I look forward to keeping in contact throughout this. 

  • kellys's avatar
    kellys
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Amanda, I started Chemo (FEC x 6) last monday and will then have radiation therapy and go will on Tamoxifen. I will have more scans after cycle 2 to see how things are going. It is so hard to take all this on. Most of the time I just want to ignore (you know as if it will go away). It has rocked mine and my husbands world. We had plans for a big family & now that may never happen. I just never imagined having 1 bub. But  on the flip side. I do have her and I am so so thankful. I am in Melbourne having my treatment at Cabrini. Thanks for writing, it is comforting to hear from others going through/been through and their take on how they've coped as I am still in a bad headspace. 

  • Joy_K's avatar
    Joy_K
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Kelly

    I am another one living with bone mets, which are being treated with IV Bondronat.

    Bone mets are easily treated and although you will take time to come round to this way of thinking, there are many of us living with Stage 4 breast cancer who now regard this as a chronic disease. When anything new appears it will be picked up and treated.

    This disease has placed few restrictions on my life, just time constraints and having to work around appointment times, and at this stage I'm feeling the best I have felt in years.

    Take time for yourself and find a new supportive friend who also has breast cancer through this forum. I have found that although I am still close to my pre-diagnosis friends, they do not understand that this is a life changing disease and even though I look better and feel better, I am not the same person. This journey makes you strong!

    Enjoy your family and concentrate on them, not this disease.

    With love

    Joy K

  • Amy's avatar
    Amy
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Kelly

    My thoughts are with you.  I have bone mets too, mine are quite widespread but it has been over a year since my diagnosis and, like Amanda, I am coping with my treatment quite well.  I try not to think about my life being shortened too much (although that is probably a reality).  I just concentrate on the fact that I feel quite well at the moment and try to live as 'normal' a life as possible for my two small children's sake.

    Hang in there.  There will be good days and bad days but know that we are all here on this journey with you.

    Amy x

  • Amy's avatar
    Amy
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Kelly

    My thoughts are with you.  I have bone mets too, mine are quite widespread but it has been over a year since my diagnosis and, like Amanda, I am coping with my treatment quite well.  I try not to think about my life being shortened too much (although that is probably a reality).  I just concentrate on the fact that I feel quite well at the moment and try to live as 'normal' a life as possible for my two small children's sake.

    Hang in there.  There will be good days and bad days but know that we are all here on this journey with you.

    Amy x

  • MandaMoo's avatar
    MandaMoo
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Kelly

    A diagnosis of secondary cancer is devastating.  You will read many positive stories about living with this disease and being there for your family for quite some time yet. 

    Yes, life will be different and not the one you had imagined.  I still find it very difficult somedays to comprehend and cope with but most days I live - the side effects of treatment are not so bad for me and so far the disease is stable. 

    Drs now talk about managing advanced breast cancer as a chronic illness and new treatments are coming out for us to try frequently.  It's difficult but trying to focus on the moment really helps.  Noone knows what tomorrow brings - sometimes cancer brings clarity to that.  

    Do you have a treatment plan now?  Keep in touch. Which state are you in?

    Wishing you the best.

    Amanda xx